I can totally and completely relate to you and your son, my little brother has aspergers.
He has an incredible special education teacher that helps him at school, though he is in mainstream education. He needs the help, his main problems in school are concentration and social skills. On the "autism spectrum" my brother is a one, thus he has aspergers (i think..., my mom is much more savy with the terms and such, if i have screwed anything up... much apologies, but he DOES has aspergers)
It is interesting how everyday with him is something that is incredibly creative. Because of auditory processing difficulties, you have to say things in a different way for him to get it "use your ears and listen."

My other brother is in a GT program (Gifted and Talented) his strengths lie in math. Mine are in english, and so i take AP classes. Anyhoo, among reasonably smart siblings, My youngest brother's IQ is greater than both of ours, but because of his disibility, he cant stay focused enough to take on the challenges.

He wows me everyday. Last week he was working on his homework with my mom, they were doing multi-step math problems. She asks him what the answer to the first step was, and he blurts out an answer that was much higher than the first step. She told him his answer was wrong, and he flipped. He explained that his answer was the solution to the whole problem. Mom had to get a calcutlator to figure it out. He was right. The aspergers is that he could only do that once without getting frustrated about how many more problems there were.

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it's not so bad.

**before you get mad at someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Because then you will be a mile away, and you will have their shoes**

Thank you for that, Paulawalla.  Adrian is extrmely high functioning with a genius IQ, but his emotional level is too low to be mature enought to use it to it's advantage.  he's in high school, has an EA and is doing well, with marks in the 80's, tho, if he really tried they'd be higher, but if he doesn't care, he'll just slide. 

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Some people shine like a star in the first moment. Others keep their light hidden until they are ready to show us.

Thanks to everyone for all the great things you've had to say.  I'm feeling better already knowing I can chat with you guys.  Everyday isn't terrible, but somedays, it's nice to know that even tho I can't get out of the house, I can come into the okp and talk.

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Some people shine like a star in the first moment. Others keep their light hidden until they are ready to show us.

Hi Trace...

I don't have any children of my own; however, for the past five years I've taught ECD special ed and worked with many children with vatious forms of autism - including aspergers...

As you read from many people, anytime you want to chat there are people willing to listen and share...

All the best to you and yours!

Hi, Trace! I am so glad you started this thread. I have thought of starting such a one myself, but my computer time is very limited so I havn't even read your post until now.  My seven year old son has Down Syndrome, and in my small town I have become close to a few moms whose kids all experience autism or aspergers. Plus I take care of these kids in a medical setting.  Tell me more about your child, what is going well, what isn't, and feel free to PM me.  We'll talk more; keep in mund I am not on a lot so if I dont respond, it's only that.  Hugs, Ann

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Peace, Ann

Hi Trace,
You're not alone. 

I have a son, now 14, with Cerebral Palsy, ADHD and Epilepsy...and I have a 5 yr old in my class who is undiagnosed, but I am fairly certain he has Asperger's, given that he is nearly identical in his abilities and disabilities as my nephew (6) who DOES have an Asperger's Diagnosis. 
It is a mystifying disability.  The two children I know are highly intelligent and can read many years above their grade level, effortlessly, but struggle terribly with social perception, interpretation and interraction.   My son with CP has difficulty with social interraction too, but more due to his verbal skills and his ADHD, but he too makes many misinterpretations socially.  As he gets older the gap keeps widening and I think now he is really aware of having Special Needs.  Sometimes i wonder what kind of a future he'll have.  He seems happy enough, but I worry for him. 

Like Anne said, I too am a teacher and have "seen it all"  I've  had kids with Bipolar Disorder, OCD, ODD, CP, Downs Syndrome, Asperger's, Sensory Integration Disorder, ADD/ADHD, and more in my class over the years.  Its not easy.   But when its your own, it is a never ending strain emotionally.  

I remember when my son was diagnosed at the age of 2, someone told me "God only gives children with Special Needs to people with Special Gifts"   I didn't feel like I had any special gifts back then.  Instead, it has been Chris who has given me those Gifts.   Through him I have found abilities and "gifts" I never knew I had.  He has taught me so much.

Please feel free to contact me via PM or email if you want to talk, vent or need support.

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Helen




I'm goin' Straight to Hell-On-Wheels!

Helenwheels:

  The two children I know are highly intelligent and can read many years above their grade level, effortlessly, but struggle terribly with social perception, interpretation and interraction. 

Just wondering...have they ever talked about it being hyperlexia, rather than asperger's?  hyperlexia is a very functioning form of autism with the main charecteristic being the ability to read well...I've had 4 yr olds that can read at a 3 or 4th grade level...

Trace you are not alone.

 I have a 7 year old who is currently undiagnosed because they cant figure her out! Her Doc says " I dont know, shes a conudrum!" gee thanks

We have gone through the diagnosis of Aspergers, Autism, global delay, add, adhd, and have settled somewhere near CAPD.

 They honestly dont have a clue what it is though.


She was almost deaf as a baby but they wouldnt listen to me. I kept taking her in to the Doctors saying something wasnt right. No one listened! They just poo pooed me and acted like I was irrational mother. HELLO this is my 3rd child I know something isnt right. I finally took her to a pediactric ENT who diagnosed her in 5 minutes. Her eustation had never developed so she was hearing at 35%. Basically everything sounded like she was underwater. This was when she was 17 months we scheduled her for ear tubes and the night of surgery she got up and walked steadily for the first time. 2 days later she was running!

 We were told when she was 3 that she would never catch up, that she would always have issues, that she would never walk right or have all the skills that needed.

 Well for the SECOND year in a year in a row ( she is in First grade) She has been the top reader in her class! She graduated from PT at 4 years old and she only needs an aide when she has to transition. She can write, colour in the lines, and stay on task most of the time.

 Alli n all, she has made tremendous progress and I have learned to never trust a Doctor when they say that children "will never be..." "cant ever..." or " dont expect them to..."

Its hogwash! 


 I have a friend on another board whose tagline is " Never underestimate the determination of a mother with a special needs child" That is SO true!



Anyway, my point is that you know the abilities of your child better than anyone else. You are there, you see the potential. I know its scary, I know its hard but you are NOT alone. This is a difficult journey and if you need help please feel free to PM me or email me. 



on a side note, Ann! I didnt know that! I wish we would have talked more about that last month! You met my little miracle  ( the blonde one )  

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There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when it's convenient. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results.”

Trace,

 Binny's daughter is amazing...and one of the very few humans - child or adult- that I would not mind hanging out with....I used to talk to Binny regularly on MSN and Stories of this kid never failed to make a bad day good and a good day better. She's amazing.

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Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus
"Take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented." E. Wiesel
OKP's Resident B****
Imprudens est draconem vivum de consiliis tuis omittere.
Steet team Leader for NYS, OH and Southern Ontario.

Binny,

my neighbor's daughter sounds alot like yours! She was considerably deaf ( i am not sure of the exact precentage, but i know it was well below 50%) until she had ear tubes at a young age (again, not sure exact age... think late toddler-dom). after that, her speech was complete gibberish. it truly was a foreign language that only she understood. now, at seven, she is very articulate, but completely socially inept.

I am not sure exactly what issues, or symptoms your child displays, but my neighbor has great difficulty separating truth from imagination. She thinks that if she believes hard enough, then what she wishes had happened, happened. Example, she was at my house the other day, and a typical childish quarrel broke out, that ended in a fair share of smacking. Basically the quarrel was my brothers vs. her. my mother comes down stairs to see what happened, and she immediatly said that one of my brothers had smaked the other, when in fact she had smacked him. She threw a fit that we didnt beleive her (btw it is no question that she did it, i heard the whole debacle from upstairs). I have never seen a child so upset over something so trivial.

Her biggest issues are social. She has difficulty making friends, and cannot carry fluent conversations, without getting incredibly sidetracked. We were talking about her drawing, i asked why she chose pink. she told me about her friend maggie. i am guessing serious auditory processing problms.

Her mother is also searching for a diagnosis, but all the doctors are pulling blanks. The funny thing is that as the 'hip teenage babysitter" i am often pulled in to settle family issues. Whent he grandmother was watching the kids, i was called to help her get her granddaughter dressed, as all previous attempts had failed. I really do love this child, she is like the kid sister i never had (though i must admit i sometimes with i NEVER had).
I go over, and as always is "hey goober, now use your ears and listen."

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it's not so bad.

**before you get mad at someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Because then you will be a mile away, and you will have their shoes**

Binny
     Doctors---oy!  Over the years as I've gotten older and bolder, I  have questioned the all knowing all powerful doctors.  Most don't like it when you question their ideas.  I had a wonderful doctor who would openly say to me, " I don't know what it is, let's send you to someone who might", but he is not the norm.  The last time I had Chelsea at her pediatrician, I told him I wanted her to have another xray done on her leg.  She'd had xrays 2 years ago and they found a cyst on her thigh bone, but told me it was harmless.  She's continued to have pain so I want to keep an eye on this.  Now just to preface what I said to her doctor, you have to know that my son Adrian almost died when he was 3 days old.  His intestine ruptured and for 3 more days we told doctors and nurses that something was wrong and no one would listen.  He would have bright red blood in his poop, then nothing, then blood and he'd stopped eating and was always sleeping (he was dying actually). They insisted the blood was mine that he'd swallowed during my csection.  Blood would not be bright red after passing thru his system.  NO ONE listened.  Finally in the middle of the night, they realized something was wrong by how distended his stomach was.  A team from Sick Kids in Toronto came here and took him there.  When they opened him up he had 4 cups of stool inside his body cavity!  The surgeon told me that if he hadn't received treatment, he'd have been dead in less than 24 hours.  So when Chelsea's doctor told me that she didn't need another xray, that it was just 'growing pains', I said, "Listen, I don't mean you any disrespect, but if I'd listened to doctors when Adrian was sick, he'd be dead now".  The advice I give every new mom or dad is to trust your gut.  If it feels wrong, it just may be.  Like you said, Binny, no one knows your child better than you.

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Some people shine like a star in the first moment. Others keep their light hidden until they are ready to show us.

My niece wasn't diagnosed as having hearling loss until she was 3. My sister was just patted on the head and told kids develop at different rates, she'll start talking soon.  Then as I mentioned, she wasn't diagnosed as having aspergers until she was 17.  We were just told that everything was because she was hearing impaired.  'Scuse me?  She has difficulty reading facial expression because she's hearing impaired?   Wouldn't that make her BETTER at it?  She picks at her hands till they bleed cause she's hearing impaired?  She screams as though in terrible pain at fireworks because she's hearing impaired?

 It took almost a full year before I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis.  My doctor actually TOLD my mother that I was hypocondriac.  It wasn't until I was a size 3, so ill I couldn't function, asking to have an airmattress put in the bathtub so I wouldn't have to walk so far to get to the bathroom, and my mother happened to be in the washroom when I was and saw the toilet bowl FULL of bright red blood that even SHE believed that something was very wrong.  (She believed the almighty doctor of coarse)  I finally put on a waiting list to see a Gastroenterologist, with a 6 month wait.  They had a cancellation and I was able to get in within a couple of weeks, the Dr. said I should thank my guardian angel, cause I would have starved to death LONG before my originally scheduled appointment. 

So ya, sometimes you gotta keep bugging, they DON'T know everything, and if your Dr. is an arrogant Pr**k, go to a different one. 

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In the social order, I accept the bottom rung, until the wine is pouring and the Lord commands a song!

I don't have kids with disabilities, but I am a social worker who has worked with kids with different concerns, including Aspergers.
I am now working with adults, and have a young man (27 years old, I think) who has been long diagnosed as bipolar, and suddenly the question of Aspergers has been raised by one of the psychiatrists who was asked to do a consultation.  And when he asked his usual psychiatrist what that means, he was told by the doctor that it was a genetic form of schizophrenia.  By the doctor!!!! I almost fell out of my chair...
Sounds like there's lot's of people here with both professional and personal experience.
Sharon

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"everything is gonna be alright when summer comes"

Aspergers has oft been confused wih schizophrenia.  Maybe schizophrenia is a catch all diagnosis for "You're an oddball, but we can't figure out what's wrong with you, so we'll slap a label on you."

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In the social order, I accept the bottom rung, until the wine is pouring and the Lord commands a song!

Thank you Andi yes she is a darling one.


I dont