I have taught my 11 yo to use the washing machine.  I had conquered Mt. Laundry by Wed aft. Then she cleaned her room.  The "colours" hamper is FULL again.  The "darks" 3/4 full.  She will be doing her OWN laundry this aft! 

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In the social order, I accept the bottom rung, until the wine is pouring and the Lord commands a song!

Can you come teach my 18 year old?! Chelsea's pretty good about using the actual hamper...she even folds the clothes before she puts them in there! Maybe SHE should teach the 18 year old!

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Some people shine like a star in the first moment. Others keep their light hidden until they are ready to show us.

My son also has Asperger's Syndrome and I'm so sorry you feel alone at times because of it.  MY son is 16 and struggles frequently with "not fitting in".  He's 16 and in high school and has finally found his niche in the world.  He's a quirky kid but amazing in so many ways.  He's perpetually clumsy, forever set in his routine, and will absolutely talk your ear off when it comes to video games and comic books.  And thank god most teenagers are exactly the same way at his age.  He's manage to make so many friends that have for some reason taken to being protective over him.   No one picks on him or teases home anymore and he's developed such confidence in himself that it is amazing.   My husband and I have come to terms with the fact that he may be with us forever.  But we never sell him short and what he's capable of.  We've managed to balance to instinct to hover and overprotect him with letting him out in the world.  We give him the space and freedom he needs to be his own person and  we're there when it/he crashes sometimes.  I talk about his Aspergers with any and everyone.  Sometimes people watch him and I can see what they are thinking.  I've come a long way from crying and trying to protect him to allowing him to be who he is and joining him in his quirkiness. 

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Chelley

Its amazing what affect a disabled person can have on your life

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Charles R. Mosher-Nicholls

I haven't posted for a few days, but I'm baaaack.

First, welcome Chelley. I don't mean that I don't ever want to talk about AS, it's just that sometimes I'd just like to go somewhere and relax and not be, as I often refer to myself, the national spokeswoman for Asperger's syndrome. Adrian's had a life of adversity and sometimes it's very tiring, but I know that if I feel that way, then it must be 10 times worse for him. We have good days and bad. Lately it was the harrassment with his locker, but the last couple of weeks seem to have been okay. I love him to pieces and many of the things that make him 'different' are the things I love most about him. AS or not, he is a great kid. He does not expect to live with us forever and wants to be on his own and live a productive life and I believe he will have that, just maybe not as soon as some young people. I moved out at 18, then came home and moved out again at 21. I think a more realistic number for Adrian will be 25. But that's up to him. I'm not chomping at the bit to send out into the world on his own, so he can stay as long as he needs. If only he wouldn't eat so much!

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Some people shine like a star in the first moment. Others keep their light hidden until they are ready to show us.

First and foremost look at the top of the page all!

100 pages who'd a though we would come this far eh Trace!

Welcome Chelly!

It never ceases to amaze me how these, our children who we are told are DISabled, overcome all the obstacles in their way to achieve great things. I truely believe and I have been told this by others, if you dispell the barriers that others perceive for these children they can and will do all they can to achieve great things. Life is how we perceive it to be. If you think you can, then you can. If you think you can't then you are probaly right. We live for these children, we fight for these children, we push these children, and good things happen. Most of all we never give up on these children, they did not ask for what they have received, but they have to live with it for all of their lives. We just have to deal with it for a short time.

Of course I am at the end of my struggle(I think) Alex will graduate with full ceremony on June 25, 2008. Some said it was not possible, we proved them wrong. He is in week 3 of 7 of a training course that will license him to operate heavy construction equipment. I had a teacher once ask me what my expectations were for Alex future! my answer took no thought, to be a self sustaining member of society, why would you ask such a question?

There are those that will always judge others, I prefer to encourage change!  My child is not DISabled he is differently abled, but arn't we all!

Have faith Trace your end is in sight too! Look hard, perhaps a bit to the left!

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~The mind is like a parachute, It always works best when it's open~Edna Buchanan~

~Northern Spy~The Apple of my Pie~

~Audrey~

Thanks for your insight, Audrey.  Gave me some renewed faith and hope and helped my attitude towards "things."  And that's such great news about Alex.  Major accomplishments!!  We're still pushing Emma towards graduating - it's all up to her - she can do it but she has to want to.  The major barrier is going to be the darn community service.  Although it is a good thing I wish she didn't need it to graduate.  With her oppositional defiance it will be pert near impossible to get her to do it, but I'm still hopeful.  She is still working part time and she is still staying far, far away from the ex-boyfriend.  If she could just focus on her schoolwork more and paryting with her friends less, I would be one happy momma!  Keeping my fingers crossed and toes and eyeballs!!! 

Robin

I feel the same about Adrian...as much as I want him to graduate, HE has to want it too, in order to accomplish it. And I feel the same about the community service, as I have said before. It should not be a requirement for graduation. But, to give you hope, my niece who has ODD graduated last year with all her community service under her belt. She just had to find things she wanted to do. Plus, she was determined to graduate and there was no way that community service was going to keep her from doing it! So she showed IT, didn't she?! LOL! Sometimes the ODD can work in ways you'd never imagine! Emma is holding a job and staying away from the former jerk bf, so that's a good sign...my wishes for her continued success!

BTW Audrey...thanks for your post. It lifted me.

And KUDOS TO US for 100 pages!! Who'da thunk, indeed!

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Some people shine like a star in the first moment. Others keep their light hidden until they are ready to show us.

Well, Trace, we'll keep praying that Emma and Adrian "git her done."  It's 10:15 and she has to be at work in 15 minutes and will not get out of the bed.  Takes 15 min. to get there.  She is definitely not a morning person.  Hopefully she'll bound down the steps any second??  And yes, she is keeping far, far away from the ex and that is very awesome.  I had been praying for that for months.  Baby steps, baby steps......

Enjoy the weekend everyone.  The weather is perfect here today. 

Robin

P.S.  Here I go up the steps to scream one more time and then I'm done.  I'm singing in a church concert at noon and need to get my own self out the door.  SIGH!

Don't you love having to get these self professed 'adults' out of bed to deal with their responsibilities?!

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Some people shine like a star in the first moment. Others keep their light hidden until they are ready to show us.

Yeah, she's 18 and all grown up and doesn't want anybody to tell her what to do yet she NEVER gets herself up for an a.m. commitment.  When she was still going to public school it was a fight every single day to get her out of that bed.  If I didn't wake her up she would have slept til noon - like she usually does now.  But.....she did get up (finally); left here at 10:30 and didn't come back so they didn't fire her.  She must do a good job once she gets there and they just deal with her b.s.  She's very lucky. 

Choral concert was great - sang at a retirement home.  The residents were so....appreciative.  It was such a blessing to sing for them.  Definitely put me in better spirits after the morning I had here.

 Cheers!

Robin

Hi friends, welcome Chelly.  I have to physically take Espen out of bed every am and the other two arent much easier....except on a saturday or other day we dont have to get up, and then they're up at 6:30.  I swear it.

Well I've been away and havn't had a chance to catch up reading posts but our update is that I finally made my decision about Espen's school next year after a HUGE amount of observing, talking and stress.  he'll go to regular public school next year and we may try the charter scholl for fourth grade.

Today a friend dropped by with her boys (OCD ans AS) and when they were leaving, Espen decided he had to give Owen (w/ AS) an applesauce cup when he was leaving the house, totally off the wall. It was VERY funny as Owen was totally derailed by the unexpected gift  and tried to give it back and Es with his hyper social deal going, they were a funny combo. :)

hope you're all well

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Peace, Ann

I thought 13 was a bad age for 'you can't tell me what to do', Holy mother 18 is the be all and end all. All of a sudden they don't have to report in they can come and go as they please and we are supposed to just let'em go! Not bloody likely! Not while you are living in the house I pay for; eating the food I pay for; sleeping in the bed I paid for; wearing the clothes I bought for you! AARRGGGG! Oh and ya know I don't have to show you this any more but here is my report card!  

My dentist keeps trying to sell me a mouth gaurd for wearing at night to keep me from grinding my teeth, yeah, I told him I snore, mouth wide open at night just ask my husband! I grind my teeth while I'm wide awake; to keep from killing my children!

And this is my walk on the moon! Sanity in a glass!

Vent complete!

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~The mind is like a parachute, It always works best when it's open~Edna Buchanan~

~Northern Spy~The Apple of my Pie~

~Audrey~

Ah yes, 18, ain't it grand? At the moment we have 3 of them in the family...Adrian, my sister's daughter and my brother's son. I warned Adrian before he turned 18 that if I heard any of this 'I'm an adult' crap, I'd make him live like an adult, complete with job and paying rent. He is yet to say it! My niece seems to think 18 gives her free will to act anyway she wants and say anything she wants. She doesn't seem to get that being an adult does not mean that you now get to be rude, snotty and vulgar and disrespectful to real adults. Don't get me wrong, she has her wonderful points and I love her dearly, but she's driving my sister nuts! Then there's the nephew...my brother says that Owen will call after his curfew 'just to let him know' he'll be late. My brother says, 'No, you're not calling to let me know, you're calling to ask permission and the answer is no. Get home before I lock the door'! Honestly, I don't know if it was the fear of what punishment my dad would come up with (the worst for me was being grounded off the phone!), but curfew was curfew. I don't ever remember telling my parents that I was an adult because I knew they would do the same thing I told Adrian I'd do! Even when I moved out on my own at 18, then came back at 19, I still didn't give my parents lip. Of course, as I got older, my parents loosened the restrictions, but I respected and feared them. And a little bit of fear is a good thing. Not fear like I was scared to death, just enough to produce the respect they deserved. Adrian's mouth lately with me and Jim is getting out of control. He stays up till 1 or 2 on a school night and has to get up at 7:30 to leave at 8. So he is cranky and miserable all day. Yep, the terrible twos were nothing compared to this! And 13 with him was a breeze! I have a feeling it's gonna be hell with Chelsea! Calgon take me away...or calgon and vodka! Now all I need is a sound proof bathroom to have that bath and drink in and I'd be in heaven! And can someone invent a knock-proof door?!

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Some people shine like a star in the first moment. Others keep their light hidden until they are ready to show us.

I can honestly say I argued and complained with my folks up until I hit age 16. From then on, the just couldn't bear hearing me tell them off (sad I know). So from then on, I was on my own. What can i say? 8 years later I have found myself 3 jobs, and a lovely apartment, so I guess some of that advice did sink in.

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Charles R. Mosher-Nicholls