Good luck Lyndz: I know you really won't need luck you will be fine and so will Alex, however My thoughts are with you and your Alex. All will be fine after all he has a great name! 

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~The mind is like a parachute, It always works best when it's open~Edna Buchanan~

~Northern Spy~The Apple of my Pie~

~Audrey~

I'm heading to Toronto today to take Adrian to his anime convention and do some shopping. I'm really hoping that spending 7plus hours with my mom will only cause me minimal ARGH. Luckily, my niece gave me the use of her laptop for the day, so when my mom is doing her marathon shopping thing and I'm ready to drop, I can sit in the van and check in here!

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Some people shine like a star in the first moment. Others keep their light hidden until they are ready to show us.

Trace: Enjoy your time with Mom, you never know how much you are going to have!

Always remember: It's all your state of mind!

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~The mind is like a parachute, It always works best when it's open~Edna Buchanan~

~Northern Spy~The Apple of my Pie~

~Audrey~

There's no way I'd want to be in your shoes today, Trace.

 All quiet here on the school front, as in - not a word from the teacher since the meeting in February. She probably figures "parents are stupid, kid is a lost case, only have to deal with her for a few more weeks". At least Kaesye doesn't appear to be depressed anymore.

Last few weeks have been a nightmare. She does not listen to a word I say. She's not defying me, she just doesn't seem to understand that it's her I'm talking to. There's been screaming and crying and lots of going to bed early. There seems to be a true lack of comprehension. As if I'm speaking to her in Russian, she can repeat the sounds but they're meaningless to her.

 On the up side, 3 new sisters moved into our little set of buildings. Their ages are probably between 13 and 17. They all enjoy the little kids, especially the youngest that's outside with them all the time. It means that Kaesye's been allowed to go out and play lately, while I'm making supper even, without our supervision. She's getting more freedom and not driving us nuts in return. The older girls have an autistic brother and seem to really know how to deal with younger kids AND how to keep them in line. They lay down the law and Kaesye, her fair-weather friend, and FWF's sister actually listen. I hear a lot of "stop that, you'll hurt yourself" from outside. Kaesye's in heaven. My only concern is Kaesye's lack of ability to play games. They play tag. She stands there, waiting to be tagged, and once tagged doesn't try very hard to catch anyone else. She does that at T-ball too. She's great at batting but rarely gets the ball when fielding because she doesn't really try. I guess I shouldn't be concerned, she's always like this. Last 3 swimming classes she was doing laps around the pool no problem, today she was back to acting like she had never been in a pool before. She just doesn't seem to want to try a lot of the time. I'm just worried that, even though these girls are cool with the little kids, they'll lose interest in playing with Kaesye because she plays tag as well as the 2 year old next door.

She's happy at least. 

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"I see you in the front row, bouncing up and down, you're ripped and ready for a night downtown." ~ Margarita
What's wrong with a little flirtation?

Monster Tee

I know how you feel Fran...sometimes older kids think Chelsea is just so sweet and cute and then some of her problems arise and they're like, 'holy crap!'. But at least Kaesye is happy. Now if only Chelsea could make some other friends and stop being content with HER fairweather friend across the street, then I'D be happy!

A question I have asked here and to myself before came to mind a few mins ago...why does the boy spend hours down here on his computer and leave when I come down and sit at mine? I'm getting a complex.

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Some people shine like a star in the first moment. Others keep their light hidden until they are ready to show us.

Trace, even if you are minding your own business down there, the implication is still that you are threatening to show interst in something he's doing. No  parent should show any interest in a teenager's doings, no matter how innocent. It's The Law!

Happy Kaesye definitely is. All she talks about is Gabie, runs home from school to play with her. When she's not outside Kaesye stands on the balcony waiting for her to show up. She's also getting freedom she's never had. We never seem to have time to go out and play with her. Now she can go out "by herself" whenever she wants as long as Gabie or one of her sisters is out there. I'm hoping it'll ease things up in other ways. Unfortunately Kaesye turned around and actively defied me for the first time Monday (normally she's passively disobedient). Can't figure out why. I don't think it's from the girls. They're very nice, responsible, and I've never heard them talk back to anyone.

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"I see you in the front row, bouncing up and down, you're ripped and ready for a night downtown." ~ Margarita
What's wrong with a little flirtation?

Monster Tee

"Normally she's passively disobedient" Love it. She's testing boundaries, Fran. Just show her where the line is and what happens if she crosses it. Chelsea was about Kaesye's age when she went thru an 'I hate you' phase. I didn't let her get a rise out of me. Whenever she said it, I replied, "Well, that's really unfortunate, because I LOVE you." Then I would tell her that I knew it wasn't me she hated, but the situation, punishment, etc and explain as well that what she was saying was hurtful. I think she tired of hearing the same answer from me and maybe realized she didn't actually hate ME. Killed me hearing it tho.

The boy...I don't know. Love him dearly, but as with most men, he has become a mystery to me. Will love him for eternity, but he still frustrates the hell out of me sometimes! I am the mother of a 'man' now...I'd better get used to it!

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Some people shine like a star in the first moment. Others keep their light hidden until they are ready to show us.

WARNING: This post may turn into a babbling rant!

Okay, so as I posted in TH&TE thread, my 18 year old niece has got an apartment. She has come to me to help her with things like meeting with the landlord and applying for assistance till she finds a job. In those meetings I realized it was a very good thing that I was there because she came out not really understanding anything that was said or discussed. The meeting with the landlord had me asking questions she would never have thought to ask, like the fact that the house is for sale and will that mean she could lose her place if the new owner intends the house to be a family dwelling, that sort of thing. She thinks she has the world on a string and it's hard for me to keep my mouth shut and not interject with adult knowledge thru life experience. I know she's excited, but I moved out at 18 as well, and I know the novelty will wear off. I was excited then too, so I'm not going to take that away from her. But she has no job, and in order to pay the rent and bills she will have to have a full time job, meaning college could be a LONG way off for her. Working for minimum wage just to make ends meet is going to suck big. But as I said, it has killed me, but I've kept my mouth shut. The place has 2 bedrooms, so the landlord plans to rent the other room too, so she'll have a room mate...that could be a disaster. I was at my sister's place yesterday as Monica was taking posters down and I resisted the great urge to tell her that the room mate may not want posters of Green Day, Happy Bunny and Tinkerbell all over the house, and she should put them up in her room. She's got all these decorating plans...what if the room mate doesn't agree? Pink and green may not be her favourite colours! And she may not love plaid as much as Monica does! As well, Monica's favourite past time is SLEEPING. I mean, this girl can sleep all day. Sometimes I'll be talking to my sister at 3:00 and Monica is still sleeping!  She cannot do this if she has to be out looking for a full time job. And I know she's going to use the place as party central for at least the first week. And I'm sure all her friends will want to hang out there which may not go over well with the room mate. I don't know...I just see more minus-es than plus-es. But I know she has to find that out herself. And it's killing me!

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Some people shine like a star in the first moment. Others keep their light hidden until they are ready to show us.

Hi Trace.  I know how hard it is to keep quiet when you KNOW what's in store for Monica.  I feel the same way with Emma, but you can't tell her a darn thing - she knows (think she knows) all.  If I push too hard she does exactly what I don't want her to do.  She STILL won't finish her on line schoolwork.  She has until the end of June and we are cutting the tuition off.  It's very sad because she's only about 6 hours away from finishing and would have an advanced studies diploma.  Partying and sleeping are more important.  She too can sleep all day.  Last Thurs. she slept through work (was supposed to be there at 11) and her counseling appt. at 3:00.  She called me at work at 3:30 crying that no one was here to wake her up.  A lot of times my husband works from home and is here to get her out the door.  Ridiculous at 18 years old that she can't get her arse out of the bed to be somewhere by 11:00.  Well, she stays out half the night and even when she comes home she doesn't go to sleep.  She's got a new boyfriend who is going to jail for 9 months on June 13th for a drug charge.  He has 6 priors - underage drinking, vandalism and God knows what else.  I swear she thrives off of these dangerous liasions.  Hopefully he'll be quickly forgotten once he's in the slammer.  He seems like such a nice guy - clean cut, dresses nice, nice face and talks politely.  He just turned 20.  Obviously looks are deceiving.  She is now waitressing at Chili's (just started) so should make more $$ than a hostess.  She has all these high expectations for her life but will not do a darn thing to get any of the things she wants.  She's so lazy she won't even turn the headlights off in her car.  She always has them on even on a bright sunny day.  Her room is gross as always and who knows if the clothes she wears are even clean.  She's got a lot more free time on her hands than I do and I'm not catering to her anymore.  Finish school or face the consequences - i.e. miminum wage job forever. 

Okay enough rambling.  I wish Monica luck.  It's so hard to make it on your own these days.  Everything is so....expensive.  Gas is almost $4.00 a gallon here.  What is it up there?  Rent here is out of this world.  We couldn't sell our house tomorrow and afford to buy it back the next day.  It' scary for our young adults just starting out - especially when they're clueless but think they own the world. 

On another note, Chelsea's hair is beautiful!!  So long!!!!

I'll keep Monica in my prayers.

Robin

Going through that as I type on a much smaller scale. Hubby keeps getting up to look out the window as Kaesye plays outside with the girls. She brought her peek-a-pooh's outside to trade and last time left with around 30 and came back with only about 20. She did get some new ones she really liked in the trades but gave away more than she got. Spent all week-end explaining to her that trading means give one, get one. We're now trying not to stand on the balcony to over-see the proceedings. The girls aren't cheating her, exactly, she's just so desperate for friends that she'll give them what they like and say it's ok if they don't have anything to give her (the older girls only had about 5 each before Kaesye started giving hers away).

I don't know what I'll do when she hits adulthood (or near-adulthood). I can't keep myself from meddling. I've actually had to walk away from her swimming classes on the days she acts like she's never been in water before.  It accomplishes nothing to get mad at her just because I KNOW she can swim the length of the pool. I just can't keep my mouth shut because it could mean she could fail her class. This past Saturday was testing. We managed to get her to understand what that meant and she did everything including treading water. When she's in a scribbling-all-over-her-homework mood I keep pointing out she won't get a sticker for that. I know I'll end up an intererfering, I-told-you-so mother of an adult child. I'll have to remember to appologize for it before she hits high school and it starts getting worse

So much to look forward to, I see I usually sweat the small stuff and shrug off the big stuff, cause there's often not much you can do about the big stuff.

 Trace, as for testing her boundries, I really don't think that's it. There really seems to be some sort of connection missing in her brain. She knows the rules, knows what happens if she breaks the rules, but doesn't seem to understand she needs to follow the rules to keep from getting in trouble. Deductive reasoning is not hers. We have one of those 1/2 bikes that attach to mine for her to ride with me. She kept letting go of the handle bars.  'If you let go again, we are never doing this again' was once followed by 2 minutes of her repeating it back to me followed by my saying "And what does THAT mean?!" before she finally managed to clue in and come around to "Don't do it then". A very small leap of logic that often is just not there for her.

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"I see you in the front row, bouncing up and down, you're ripped and ready for a night downtown." ~ Margarita
What's wrong with a little flirtation?

Monster Tee

Been absent from here for a while....pretty much since Chris moved home to his Dad's in Feb..

Things haven't gotten any better, in fact he has been in a downward spiral since that time.  Repeated suspensions, smokin' pot and cigs...

Dad has reached his limit.  Tomorrow Chris is being admitted to a facility for troubled adolescents.  It is a behavioral, susbtance abuse, psych facility in which he will have to demonstrate responsible  choices and behavior in order to be released.  He will likely be "IN" for 6-8 weeks - pretty much his whole summer break.

I am not thrilled that my son is getting comited, but it is a WAYYY better alternative to him getting BUSTED, and with his record, he'd get put in Juvy - and he'd be victimized so damn bad in jail.

This is his opportunity to turn things around.  But I am also scared for him.  I hope it goes well.

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Helen




I'm goin' Straight to Hell-On-Wheels!

Helen,

For what it's worth - Nick had to be in that position three times before he had an inkling of what he had to do. By that time he was 18. Good luck. Nick has turned out okay.

Anne

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And when the winds of change begin to blow,
I'll whisper, "You're my lighthouse" in case you didn't know.

Sons of Maxwell

visit my website!:
Anne's Philly Phan Site at http://www.gbsfanatic.com

Helen, my friend's brother went through that with his son about 2 years ago. Drugs, lying, stealing, even attacking his mother. They finally called child services on him and he was put in a special school, more long term. He had some freedom to come and go but he had curfew and manditory drug tests. 2 years later, things probably aren't perfect but since he hasn't been arrested and is living at home with his parents, everything appears to have straightened out.

Just keep telling yourself, even if you can't see the light yet, there is an end to the tunnel and keep going. 

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"I see you in the front row, bouncing up and down, you're ripped and ready for a night downtown." ~ Margarita
What's wrong with a little flirtation?

Monster Tee

hey all!

Been a member for a while although not very active due to Modding on another forum for the past 2 years and I just recently resigned. Now that I have a bit more time to spend here, I'll go through the whole thread and see if I can offer any help.

I have two out of three kids with IEP's (Individual Education Programs). Anyway, I find one of the best places for specific help from others in the same boat for any issue; A.D.D,  Auspergers, O.D.D, Autism, teens with issues, Tough Love, you name it, it's here ->  http://groups.yahoo.com/

Hopefully, once I'm done catching up with my reading, I can be of some help if not a shoulder to lean on. 

 
~Kath 

 

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I seriously need an excursion around the bay