Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and to express it, respectfully here.

From what I can tell you're all really fighting on the same side of this battle.

Agree to disagree....its ok to have differences of opinions.

 We have a show to look forward to in a few days....can't we all get along, and don't we have better things to talk about?

 

---

Helen




I'm goin' Straight to Hell-On-Wheels!

Maybe I am coming off the wrong way. In all reality I agree with a lot Andi is saying, and Fran is right. In actuality, I concider myself one of the smartparents, and feel insulted when put down for having kids because of a small group of dumb ones. In saying that, I think when it comes to the topic of this thread, I agree more than I disagree.But unfortunatly I cant walk away from a good debate and had to say my thoughts.No hard feelings I hope? Lyndz

No matter where you look these days you will find people who expect the world on a platter.  I've done retail and restaurant work and I have given up counting how many people I dealt with on a daily basis with the attitude that they are the center of the universe.  That goes for everybody all the way down the line, with or without children.  And I don't think there is any happy medium that will satisfy everybody.

I will not pass a mass judgement on an entire section of the population just because they have kids or not.  I pass judgement on their behaviour as individuals.  There are some children I absolutely refuse to be around because they are obnoxious little brats that should consider themselves lucky that they don't have me as a parent.  Mind you, if they did have me as a parent I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be obnoxious little brats in the first place.  And if I don't like the kids it usually extends to the parents as well because they are the ones responsible for teaching their children how to behave in the first place.

Yes, I am a parent.  I also have a very respectful and well behaved teenage son.  I have been lucky enough to be able to take him into fancier restaurants than a family diner because he is well behaved, but if he wasn't then I wouldn't take him into the restaurant in the first place.  If he can't behave in a McDonald's then he wouldn't have been taken to even the local IHOP or Denny's, let alone somewhere more upscale.

If he couldn't behave while out shopping with me I thought nothing of leaving my cart in the middle of an aisle, taking him out of the store and spanking him for his behaviour.  And then taking him home, of course.  I am a firm believer in using spanking as a punishment because it got his attention more than simply talking to him.  "Now dear...your behaviour is simply unacceptable..." doesn't generally work on a three year old.  And it certainly doesn't work on some adults either, but of course you can't spank them no matter how badly you really want to.  I ignore them as much as I can, and if they are really obnoxious I give them a piece of my mind.  Especially if they are using their children/disability/whatever as an excuse for their behaviour.  "Well, pardon me, but you don't see my using my child/disability/whatever to get special priviledges, buddy."

I am hearing impaired (even before positioning myself in front of a giant sub-woofer) but I don't ask for special dispensation for that.  Even when I worked in a call center I didn't set any demands for special equipment - I worked with what I was given and simply turned the volume up on everything.  My sister is in a wheelchair and has been from birth and before her wheelchairs became too big for a normal parkiing spot that is what we used - a normal parking spot.  She has even gone to concerts and has not demanded that able-bodied people move from their spots so she can park there - she wouldn't dream of it. If she's not there soon enough to get that spot in the first place she feels that it's her own fault and that she can pretty much enjoy the show from wherever she manages to fit her wheelchair.

But at the same time I have dealt with people who feel the opposite - they are handicapped and they are ENTITLED to whatever they want.  Sorry, but no.

I've also dealt with people that feel that their status as parents give them rights above everybody else.  Again, sorry, but no.

Treat me with respect and you get the same in return.  Don't demand things out of me just because you feel you have some special right to them for whatever reason.  It goes a long way towards fostering understanding.  Demanding does nothing but tick people off.

I have dealt with all types of people in my life and the ones I get along with the best don't demand or automatically expect things to go their way and throw a hissy fit when they don't.

---

----------
"To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of men." ~ A. Lincoln

"Age is no guarantee of maturity." ~ L. Blackwell

"A word to the wise isn't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice." ~ B. Cosby

**New GBS fanboard in the works...PM me for info & note that not all enquires will be accepted**

Bonnie - well said.  There are a lot of things that would constitute reasonable requests, but are not reasonable demands.  Asking politely, with the understanding that you're talking to someone who might say yes or might say no or might come up with an alternate solution, can sometimes get one a lot farther than marching up and saying, "excuuuuuse me, but I'm this and I'm that and you should do such and such."

That said, our culture doesn't really train people to recognize the difference.  People get intimidated by requests and cowed by demands, exploding defensively at people who are trying to be reasonable and giving in to people who really shouldn't be encouraged in their selfish behavior.  Learning to recognize when someone's respectfully broaching a possibility and when they're claiming an entitlement is really difficult, largely because manipulative people learn to cloak their demands in a Victim act.  It's quite the field of study, and a lifelong one for those of us who opt to take it up at all.

Love, Columbine 

---

I got kinda sad reading all these posts. Why is it so rare for people to help each other these days???   Why is it so rare that when someone actually does help you out , you aren't thankful???   Its just sad. 

I'm a new mom, and i certainly don't ask for special treatment. My choice to have a child was my own, and i would only hope that as i grow as a parent that i'll be like the fine parents speaking up on this thread.  I have a lot of issues with people and entitlement. We could go on forever about that!

My sons are going to Wolftrap because they LOVE Great Big Sea and were very upset that Mommy saw them 6 times last year and they didn't get to go once. Wolftrap is a seated venue otherwise they would not go. No way would I EVER take them at their ages to a GA show. (Which is one of the reasons I bowed out of the Irish Fest in Albany last year). I know they've heard me say worse things while driving than the B'ys have ever said at a show I've been to and the inuendos would fly over their heads. Besides I'm just bringing them with hope that they get a pic like Kaeyse did and then, unlike you Fran,  I'm keepin' it for ME !!  LOL

---

"Some government bastard now takes it from me"... E.McCann

"Politicians don't care for whats yours or what's mine" - E.McCann

"Music is sound organized for the purpose of decorating time"...Frank Zappa

"If life was fair Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead"...Johnny Carson