Hey Binny

I don't know if you were thanking Andi for starting the thread, but I will take your thank you and raise you a 'you're welcome' because it was me who started it due to the stresses of having a child with Aspergers.

Schizophrenia?!  That never even came up!  I'm glad I had my son assessed by the autism society!  They told me that there are many kids out there who have been mis-diagnosed, usually with ADD or ADHD.  It is so unfortunate that even in the medical community there can be such ignorance. Asperger's is a neurobiological disorder.  Their brains are wired differently than "normal" people.  Asperger's was named after the doctor who discovered it in the 1940's, but it wasn't recognized by the psychiatric world until 1995!!

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Some people shine like a star in the first moment. Others keep their light hidden until they are ready to show us.

To add to my previous post, I just said to my husband "what does the psychiatric community have to do with it anyway, it's not a psychiatric problem?"!  As well, when Adrian was first diagnosed, it took forever to get the help he needed (an IEP, an EA in the class, occupational therapy) and when I asked what the hold up was, I was told that the board of education did not recognize asperger's as autism!  Yet it is!  Shortly after, the autism society changed their name to the autism spectrum disorder society so that every area of autism would be covered under that title without a fight.  But there are always battles to wage and win when you have to advocate for your child.  (Even ones without disabilities!)

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Some people shine like a star in the first moment. Others keep their light hidden until they are ready to show us.

Hi everybody -

Thanks for starting this thread, Trace2716.  I'm interested to learn more about Aspberger's, so while I can't speak from much experience, I can at least be a shoulder to lean on.

My husband's brother is both autistic and "retarded," and is non-verbal.  (He lives at the other end of the country, so we don't really have him in our lives much.  His disorder definitely wrecked havoc on my husband's family dynamics.  Suffice to say that his father did not deal with the situation well at all.)  My stepdaughter's mother shows some of the signs of Aspberger's, but I think there's also something else going on with her, so that makes things a even harder to "get."  If there's indicators of autism on both sides of the family, I wonder what the chances are that my SD has some degree of autism.  If hyperlexia is an indicator, she's a pretty good example of it!  She can read college texts on biology and actually understand them.  Her dad has a genius IQ and so does she, so maybe it's just that she's brilliant.

My SD also has a friend (from way back in preschool, they go to different schools now) who was diagnosed with Aspies a few years ago, and she is a "classic" case.  Very bright, very high-functioning, except when it comes to social skills.  Unfortunately her parents don't seem to be dealing with it very well.  And now they're getting divorced.  This disorder can definitely tear your world apart.  I think it's what drove my husband's first marriage apart, his exwife's unexplainable behavior and complete lack of relationship skills.

I'm just glad to have an opportunity to read more about this and ask questions.

Hugs!
Lovely Nancy

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...long as the river still runs to the sea, hey lucky you, lucky me...

GBS Concerts: The most fun you can have with your clothes on.

I was thanking you for starting the thread and thanking Andi for the nice things she said about my dd


Im just a thankful sort



I totally spaced my dds IEP this morning ARGGHHH I felt so bad. But it was the first one I missed in 4 years so I guess Im allowed. They were fine with it and just rescheduled me. Still I hate that! I am so scatter brained lately!!

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There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when it's convenient. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results.”

Lovely Nancy

It's nice that people show interest and want to educate themselves.  The chances that your SD has AS increase if parents or siblings have it.  There was a high chance Chelsea would have it, but we didn't know that when we were having her because Adrian hadn't been diagnosed.  She has picked up a lot of his behaviour, mimicking it, but it's not her own.  Adrian is 7 years older and her only sibling, so of course she'd tend to act like the only other example of a child in the house.  I've believed for some time that my husband has a mild form of AS and he finally agrees that I may be right.  But one point you made is correct;  it can tear a family apart.  My husband has been looking for someone to blame since Adrian was diagnosed and even gone as far as to blame me personally, like I could MAKE him autistic.  We were new to parenting when we had Adrian so when he started doing the things he did we didn't really make much out of it except he was really smart.  He knew the alphabet backwards and forwards at 11 months, he could read and write before he started school and depending on his particular obsession of the moment, he could tell you everything there was to know about dinosaurs, planets, geography, etc.  We didn't notice the lack of social skills because when kids are real little, they are so accepting and Adrian's quirks didn't bother them.  By grade 3, he was an outcast, spending recess wandering around the schoolyard alone.  We have been lucky with Adrian.  He's very high functioning.  I used to go to a parents forum and there was a kid with AS that was eating the carpet and the mother was at her wits end!  So know things could always be worse.

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Some people shine like a star in the first moment. Others keep their light hidden until they are ready to show us.

Binny! Hi! You mean you and Helen and I were the special needs moms section of the Seattle concert last month?  Yes, I wish I talked to you more, and of course you guys were gone when I looked for you after the concert.
As a member of the medical community (I am a Physician Assistant- do you guys have them in Canada yet?), I want to extend a very sincere apology to those of you who have been hurt by the callous, know it all attitudes of some doctors that have hurt you and your children.  It happens a lot, and it sickens me each time I hear a story like the ones you've shared.  Anyway, I know that those traumatic experiences go really deep and hope this apology will help towards healing.
Well, I'll close this one with one hopeful thing, the culture IS getting more accepting of people's differences, plus, we know more about how to help folks suceed with their disability, so I argue that all of our kids have a chance to do better than any other generation of people with their condition.  And thank God for great teachers, aides, therapists and others who love our kids.  (My son Espen, who has Down Syndrome, will pretty much blow off anyone trying to teach him something if he doesn't sense a genuine like from that person (social/emotional is the highest intelligence for many people with DS))  Today I called the teacher and she was working with him, and she said "I am having him jump on the trampoline 5 times, get off and read a sight word under the trampoline and then go jump another 5..) I so appreciate someone who will be that creative AND flexible because my son is fairly unmotivated in learning and she has found a way to engage him.  he is 7 and this hasn't always been the case.
Helen, how is your son (whom we never discussed..) doing?  Does he use a wheelchair?  What grade is he in?
Take care, all

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Peace, Ann

Hi Trace, I have aspergers syndrom so I know first hand the kind of problems that can arise as a result.  If you need to talk feel free to drop me a line.  My msn is jlcmfw@yahoo.ca if you want to add me.

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Mitchell

I am in a rush to get the kids to bed as well but wanted to throw my MSN in the mix if anyone wants to PM me more

 Im jrneil22@msn.com

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There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when it's convenient. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results.”

Hey Trace: I appreciate the stuggles you are going through although not quite the same, I have a son with Tourettes syndrome, If your not familiar it can be linked to aspergers as well as ADD, OCD, ODD just bring in a few. The best discription I have ever heard for TS is disinhibited behavior.  We had a wonderful Doc for him for about 5 years then the Phsyciatric association cut funding in our area and he lost his funding to work here. I have never figured out why they can't operate as a regular doctors practice does with a patient list instead of having to have a "program" and special funding to see patients. With a special needs child it seems to me that they are never really accepted by the general public at any function. Alex has certianly presented us with many challenges. I have spent more time in school principals offices as a parent advocating for my child than, My husband(no angel) or I ever did as a student. it seems every year you have to educate a new teacher on how your child learns or reacts to "normal situations" I HATE the word normal, who got to decide what would be considered "normal".  Alex is 18 now going on 2 somedays. He is still in school, and now in a good place for him they have figured out how to keep him going and learning. I now have no doubt that he will someday graduate grade 12, he may be 20 when he does it. It will be a very celebrated graduation. Sorry I vented, medical and educational systems really get me going, there is so little support for those not deemed as "normal" Pulling for you from the sidelines Trace. You go girl! Audrey

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~The mind is like a parachute, It always works best when it's open~Edna Buchanan~

~Northern Spy~The Apple of my Pie~

~Audrey~

Ann, maybe someday we will get another chance to talk more.

We tried to get out of there before the rush. We cut out Stage Murray as soon as we could to get the kids set up. We still had a hike back to the car. She did really well there though. Once those earplugs went in she did great and of course once Alan came out she was a very happy kid.



Karissa's teacher told me today that she is having a time with her shoes. Well one pair in particular. I guess she refused to keep them on all day. Im not too fond of her new aide though. She is just pretty ubrupt. I dont like how she is acting towards Karissa. I think Im going to have a talk with the SED teacher. She is wonderful so hopefully we can work something out.  

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There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when it's convenient. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results.”

Northern Spy
     What you said about a child with special needs never really being accepted by the general public at any function is definitely true.  With Adrian that is mostly true of kids his own age, even relatives.  He has two cousins (brothers) that are always coming to ME at family functions to laugh about something Adrian is on about or to say, 'why is he like that'?  But I blame my husband's sister for not educating her children.  I also used to babysit for this awful woman, who would say whatever popped into her head like it didn't matter because I was her 'employee'.  She was asking me why Adrian wore the pants he wore (sports pants, nylon, usually stripes on sides, no buttons) and I said , 'because he likes them and he feels comfortable in them'.  She proceeded to tell me what I should buy to make him more stylish and I said, 'Adrian doesn't care about style, he cares about comfort.  Atleast he looks 'normal'.'  Her answer was, 'oh tracey, you don't really think he looks normal, do you?'  I wanted to belt her.  No, maybe Adrian doesn't fit into the cookie cutter idea of normal.  He smiles more than your average teenager.  He talks to me about what's bothering him. He doesn't mumble, he speaks clearly andconcisely with a higher than average vocabulary.  He's friendly and courteous and has respect for adults.  So I guess he's not 'normal'.  I can live with that.

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Some people shine like a star in the first moment. Others keep their light hidden until they are ready to show us.

Trace, that makes my blood boil just reading that!!


Some people should not work with children period but working with SPED kids takes a whole different level of understanding and may I add, compassion!


That teacher showed lack of both.


Im sorry that happened.

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There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when it's convenient. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results.”

Fortunately it wasn't a teacher that said that, it was a woman I babysat for.  But what can you expect from a woman who asked me on the spur of the moment, on my day off, to babysit her son, and when I said 'I have a doctor's appointment for a pap' she said,'well can't you take him with you?'!!!  Uh, I don't take MY kids with me, I'm not taking hers!  She's just ignorant on SO many levels!

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Some people shine like a star in the first moment. Others keep their light hidden until they are ready to show us.

Trace sorry about what that lady put you through...

I have been reading along in this thread, I don't have children that have disabilities, or anything that looks to see if we need testing... I do think though that my babe has degrees of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  Everything has to be so, in place, perfect... he needs to sleep with the red pillow, HIS two blankets have to be just so... a pillow needs to be against the wall when he sleeps... and this and that... with other things in his life... he needs to hear the truck "beep" before bed... the lights have to be on or off... or he is just very particular... I don't know the doctors says.. not to worry about it just yet...

I just wanted to applaude all of you who in what ever way, it has touched you, that you are wonderful in advocating for your child, yourself, your family.... kudos to you... You should be proud.  I know I am proud to "know" all of you...

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~Is a downtown girl cuz I like waking up with my hair messed up!!!

Canadian Lisa--
     You're making me teary!Thank you for the kind words.  They mean a lot.

How old is your son?  Sounds quite young.  Adrian did things like that.  That's how it all started.  He was about 2 when he started to 'change'.  Little things that were sometimes annoying, but repetative behaviour. Things he needed to to do, but made little sense to us.  We just went along with it, becaus