Hello Trace, and anyone who has replied to this thread and are touched with disability in some way. There is a new social networking website that has launched for persons with disabilities called OurTownEarth. It was started in Atlantic Canada, actually by an individual from Cape Breton. You can find it at www.ourtownearth.com .

There are several parents who are on this site, who have children with disabilities, and the things you were speaking of I've talked with them about... avoiding going anywhere, wanting to talk to people about it... I just happened upon this thread when I was looking through the site and thought I would mention it for anyone who may want to check it out.

Thank you Holly, I will check that out.

Lyndz, you know that I completely understand what's happening in your life right now. It hasn't even been a year yet since I left Jim. It was scary for me, as you all know. But in the last 10 months, I have been happier than I have in the last 15 or more years. It's been so hard financially and I've had to do a lot on my own, but it's worth it. My kids found it a relief to be away from the fighting. Of course, Jim continued to be a jerk for many months, causing the animosity to continue. My kids are older than yours and unfortunately, the damage to their psyches has been done. As you all know, Chelsea suffers from anxiety and is seeing a counselor. Lyndz, you are doing the right thing, let me say that first. Of course the kids don't understand right now why they can't live with both of their parents because regardless of how you two feel about each other, they still love BOTH of you. You are doing the best thing possible by not fighting in front of them or over them and keeping them out of it. It is tough, I know. In the long run they are going to benefit from TWO happy parents, but it will be hard for awhile. The MOST important thing for them to understand is that none of this is their fault. I have also told my kids that I respect that they love their dad and just because I don't love him anymore, I don't expect them not to. And I don't expect them to take sides. There are some wonderful books for young children about divorce. Mr. Rogers wrote a really good one. Check out the library for it and other ones. It may really help. What also helped Chelsea was knowing that her cousin Olivia was going through the same thing because my brother and his wife split up at the same time that I left Jim. I'm going to pm you new email address, since we used to chat on msn and I'd like to do that again. Remember to take care of yourself too, Lyndz. That's important to your kids. Depression, anxiety and feeling bad for the kids can take you over. Try not to let it. You deserve to be happy and your kids will notice the difference and be happy for it too eventually. In the mean time, be patient. There may be acting out, tears and blame put on you for what they're feeling right now. I wish you and the kids well and hope for only the best to come out of this. It may be a long road, but it's worth the walk. Believe me, I know.

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Okay, so I now have a bottle of Ritalin in my meds cupboard and my son swallowed a pill for the first time this morning.  It's a low-dose, fast-acting pill so I don't have to give it to him everyday and the effects should wear off in a couple of hours.  I have no problem medicating appropriately, although I am likely to put off giving meds for as long as possible in any instance.  Why do I feel like a failure?  Why do I feel like I'm giving in to something?

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Sing an unwritten song or repent for the deeds you left undone.- GBS
If curious means that you trade your routines for something free, the freedom you feel's the whole point of the deal so curious I'll be! - BNL
Priates over Ninjas!!

The same reason we all do. We're moms and guilt goes with the territory. I have one kid with AS and another attending counseling for anxiety...I've felt like a failure many a time. You're not alone.

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Carol - what if he needed to wear glasses, and you bought him a pair of glasses?  Same basic deal.  I can't talk my thyroid into giving up its ongoing civil war, and couldn't even if I were freaking Mother Theresa, so I pop a pill daily too.  These things happen.

Love, Columbine 

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Careful with the short acting stuff, can cause ups and downs that will become more apparent after the body has adjusted. You may prefer switching to the long acting ones for a smoother day. You don't need to take the long-acting ones every day either and it's once a day so you don't need to worry about the second dose being taken at school.

I feel guilty and like a horrible mother constantly. Kaesye wouldn't act like this if it wasn't for me - kind of thing. Hubby assures me it's not true but at the height of screamfests (between any combination of the 3 of us) he points out that he told me years ago if I didn't lay off this would happen :( Which do I believe? Doesn't matter. We always blame ourselves when something goes wrong with our kids anyway.

Columbine's right though. It's a medical condition that you have no control over. You could actually end up causing more problems in the end if you continued to fight treatment. Eyes can fix themselves (mine did) but more often than not, your sight will get worse if you don't get glasses. His problems could straighten themselves out in time or could get worse without the Ritalin. You can always take him off later but it's hard to undo damage caused by struggling for too long without, hoping he'll get past it on his own. 

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"I see you in the front row, bouncing up and down, you're ripped and ready for a night downtown." ~ Margarita
What's wrong with a little flirtation?

Monster Tee

I'm poping in on the Meds discussion for a sec, as i was medicated with a variety of things from the age of 6 until I was 18 and took myself off them. I personally could not have gotten through the public school system without them. I still take my Adderall every once in a while to help me get papers done. I have mellowed out somewhat now that I am an adult but I am grateful to my mom for putting and keeping me on them. The best thing you can do is make sure he knows why he's taking it and educate him as much as possible on reading the difference of how he feels when on or off the meds. I'm also a big fan of yoga and meditation If you can get him into it. Hope this helps! Keep your chin up hon!

Loves,

Loula

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Well there’ll be music all around you, You should see the way it feels

Funny- some days I still feel like I failed and my kids are almost all adults. Every once in a while some one will make a comment that cuts to the quick and I feel it all over. Kids don't come with manuals they are all different, there is no wrong way to really do this. You just need to be able to adapt to changing circumstances and conditions at the drop of a hat, and care to do it over and over again.

It takes monitoring to decide if this is your answer, I had one that did good and one that could not take ritalin. If he can tell how you how he feels on the drug thats a help, if he is more stable in mood and ability at his work that is another good indicator. My only caution is to watch his apatite. My boys could not eat when they were taking the meds, food would make them  feel ill.

The other thing is A 'bad' mother would not look for or care about a solution to the issue, so that takes you right out of the running for bad parent of the year and puts you at the top of the running for mother of the year award!

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~The mind is like a parachute, It always works best when it's open~Edna Buchanan~

~Northern Spy~The Apple of my Pie~

~Audrey~

I wasn't a big fan of meds either, but it makes such a big difference in my son. Even he realizes on some weekend morinings when he takes it later..."Mom, can you give me my medicine now?" And echoing what Coumbine said, it would be considered abuse or neglect if a parent didn't take their child to the doctor for a broken limb, but I've met parents who have various reasons, mostly their pride, for not medicating their child. I've got 4 students this year, all in the same bag. One child is on some herbal thing to deal with the ADD deficits- never mind that he climbs on furniture, throws self on floor, refuses to work...parents are aware of it happenenig at school, but obvioulsy don't feel it's important enough to warrant medication. 2 sisters have a variety of issues, mom doesn't want to get in a power struggle with them, puts it in their chocoalate milk- often they come to school claiming they haven't had breakfast. Another child has almost manic moments, does dangerous and lewd things- Dad doesn't want him medicated because a family member had a bad experience with it, and is now in jail. Phhhhfft.....and I'm supposed to teach reading, math and social skills to these guys.

lattelady63:

Phhhhfft.....and I'm supposed to teach reading, math and social skills to these guys.

Man! I feel the same. I have two parents trying everything before meds. That's okay - don't wanna push them because they'll find out soon enough it's not working currently. And I have two who have their heads up their rear about it. DOn't even want to take the kid for intake for counseling even though he obviously has big-time anger issues and frequently has profanity outbursts and throwing fits if he doen'st get his way. How are we supposed to teach? When you find out the answer, tell me. In three of the four cases, thses kids are smart but can't do schoolwork because they can't focus on it to get anything done or listen to a lesson. They could be honor roll kids, fer pete's sake! But instead they score lower than my Special Ed kids on tests.

Anne

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And when the winds of change begin to blow,
I'll whisper, "You're my lighthouse" in case you didn't know.

Sons of Maxwell

visit my website!:
Anne's Philly Phan Site at http://www.gbsfanatic.com

well, that's why I went ahead with the meds.  He doesn't need to lose any more school time, and I certainly don't have time to coach him after school so he can keep up. Homeschooling is a nice idea but the income is lousy.  I'm on meds for thyroid too and I get that it needs to be done sometimes, I just know that there is so much controversy over riatlin and the info I got with the meds, re:addiction etc. is so scary...  I'm hoping we can work with the meds long enough to find a better solution.  He seems smart enough to me (but then, he's my boy). He was explaining to me today how he made a clay bear (in great detail) and how he could teach his class to make beavers and beaver dens, the steps, the materials, who would actually teach the lesson...This was about 45 mins after taking the pill, and I began to worry that we take it too early and I was wasting all this clarity...

Thanks so much everyone!  I really need friends sometimes and it's good to know I can come here and find them!

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Sing an unwritten song or repent for the deeds you left undone.- GBS
If curious means that you trade your routines for something free, the freedom you feel's the whole point of the deal so curious I'll be! - BNL
Priates over Ninjas!!

We are always here for you hon! That's what makes this such a great community!

Stay Strong!

Love,

Loula

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Well there’ll be music all around you, You should see the way it feels

Caroldohn:

 Homeschooling is a nice idea but the income is lousy. 

Don't I know it!

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Inspirational article about a success story of a learning disabled kid.

Once a Failure, Now a Mentor

Anne

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And when the winds of change begin to blow,
I'll whisper, "You're my lighthouse" in case you didn't know.

Sons of Maxwell

visit my website!:
Anne's Philly Phan Site at http://www.gbsfanatic.com

ok gang its been a really long time. Ive been keeping up with most of you VIA FB but wanted to check in here as well.

 

 Want you to know that you are all in my prayers, you are NOT alone in this!

 

 I dont have time to go into everything thats going on here so I will give you the bullets

* we are moving to Denver next Saturday *eek*

* the kids are wanting to go back to regular school. they miss the other kids. I dont know what to do

* Kate has now been diagnosed with the same thing Karissa has. Or rather not diagnosed since they cant figure out what Karissa has. But she has all of the same symptoms just on the opposite end of things. If Karissa feels one thing Kate feels the opposite of it. We didnt see it. I dont know how we missed it.

On the bright side what they thought was a heart problem with Karissa turned out to be an allergy to something. Her heart monitor has been all normal and she hasnt had a dizzy spell since I gave her Claritin.

 

 

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There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when it's convenient. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results.”