Trace, check your PMs, please.  I just sent you one.

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Don't feed the idiots or they'll continue being idiots...

Flying his true colors.  I'm sorry he's pulled Adrian into it, but it sounds like you knew he would.

The phone thing is textbook.  Now he'll start working harder to isolate you from your family and friends.  He might break the computer - run a backup and put it someplace where he can't find it.  If you don't have a cell phone, get one; and a PO box for them to send the bill to.

Love, Columbine (who hates rerun season, but what can you do?) 

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Thanks Col. I do have a cell phone and my mom and I share a plan so she receives the bill.

I just talked to Adrian. The things that concern him about moving just irk me. Like if he'll have to change his email address, because he doesn't want to have to inform all his friends of an address he's had for 2 years. Um, yeah, I don't really want to have to send out change of address cards to everyone I know after 14 years in this house, but if I have to, then so be it. And he wonders if he'll have a large room, to keep all his stuff. I'M willing to go without a bedroom at all, and he wonders if his will be big. Stuff like that. He doesn't want to live in the town just up the hill from us, but Chels and I want to. We lived there before here and I loved it. We moved here because this is the actual neighbourhood that Jim grew up in. HE has fond memories and wanted to live here. I know part of what Adrian is concerned about is because of his AS. He can't look at the big picture, just his part in it, but it still gives me a headache (literally).

I feel like I'm taking away from what this thread was supposed to be about. I just feel most comfortable here. But I'm going to try to take a breather for a couple of days and let someone else have a turn! I'm not the only person with problems and I don't want this to become the 'Tracey's Divorce' thread!

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Some people shine like a star in the first moment. Others keep their light hidden until they are ready to show us.

Trace,

 

 why not post a blog, then when you feel like writing - but not in here- you can write there and if you put the url in your signature, everyone can still read it. 

 Just a thought. 

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Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus
"Take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented." E. Wiesel
OKP's Resident B****
Imprudens est draconem vivum de consiliis tuis omittere.
Steet team Leader for NYS, OH and Southern Ontario.

Good idea. I've never blogged before, but that might be a useful outlet for me. Thanks.

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Some people shine like a star in the first moment. Others keep their light hidden until they are ready to show us.

Trace, just wanted you to know I'm still thinking of you.  Maybe the something good in this is the you you are about to discover.  That sounds more cliche than I meant it to. 

 

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Sing an unwritten song or repent for the deeds you left undone.

lyndzchick

I am so sorry for what you and yours are going through.  I'll keep them in my prayers too.

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Sing an unwritten song or repent for the deeds you left undone.

I know what you mean, Carol. I often speak that way too! I appreciate the thought. I was actually thinking along those lines myself. Finding the person in me that I know is just dying to come out. The person I am when I'm with friends...relaxed, laughing, looking at all the possibilites etc. Being that person ALL the time would be wonderful.

I'm making strides with the kids. Mostly Chelsea. She's SO stressed out tho. Yesterday I took a little break and went out shopping with my sister and Chels stayed with Adrian. At one point I called to see how things were. She answered the phone in a funny voice and goofed around with me. It was great to hear that. I was only gone for an hour and a half, but it was a much needed break and I was able to come home fresh and ready for whatever I had to do.

Today I have a meeting with a woman from Family and Children's Services. She needs to see that Chelsea is physically okay. I need to get the living room cleaned up tho!

Jim has been trying avoidance with me. Getting up, showering, leaving. I think he believes that by doing this, he can continue to live here. He doesn't seem to realize that by avoiding me, he's also avoiding his kids. He's just really not getting any of this. We haven't told his parents any of this but I'm thinking maybe I should talk with his mother. Maybe she could talk some sense into him. She has no idea how bad things have gotten with him, and I don't want to burden her (he is her child, after all), but maybe she could make him understand what is best for the kids. I know she would see that THIS isn't.

Okay, off to make sure my house looks and smells clean! (And with 4 cats, that's no easy task! LOL! But I pride myself on the fact that people can't even tell we have cats when they come in!)

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Some people shine like a star in the first moment. Others keep their light hidden until they are ready to show us.

Just an update...didn't meet with that woman because Jim was still here when she was supposed to visit. She's meeting with me at my sister's place on Friday.

Okay, something good for a change! It's small, but it's something and everything counts, especially these days! Chelsea and I are not feeling well today, completely knocked out this morning by colds and sore throats. I got up with the alarm to wake Adrian, but I was not going to keep getting him up, especially since I knew he went to bed after 3 am! So at one point I woke up and wondered if he was still in bed, but then I heard him walking around downstairs. A few mins later I heard him leave. So without prodding, on a day that he got about 5 hrs sleep, he got up, made his lunch and got to school on time. Now, what he'll be like later I don't want to think about, but for now I have something to post other than doom and gloom! And that feels pretty nice.

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Some people shine like a star in the first moment. Others keep their light hidden until they are ready to show us.

(((Hugs))) Trace, that is great news that he managed all of that alone and with initiative!

 I am sorry for all you are going through. Sounds like you have a plan in place though and that is good. May I suggest you make a back up disk of your own in case you havent already havent done that? That way you are covered. Perhaps store it at your sisters or mums?

I will keep you in my prayers and please feel like you can come here and chat  any time I know I am not around as much lately but I do like to read and see how everyone is doing. :)

 

Robin

 

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There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when it's convenient. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results.”

Hi Trace.  Glad Adrian gave you a break this a.m. by getting out of the house on his own.  Emma tends to do better getting herself up and out when she knows she's own her own - as in her dad and I are both going to be gone.  I've been thinking about you every single day and will continue to pray you.  We are here for you on this thread any time you need to vent, chat, scream, yell, cry, laugh, sing, whatever you need.

the other Robin 

Thanks Robin. Yesterday, I was not well at all and he chooses that day to stay home from work and basically annoy the crap out of me. He's decided to play the role of 'daddy good guy' to my 'mom the hard ass'. He let Chelsea go out in the rain yesterday with no umbrella or raincoat. She already has a cold, for pete's sake! So I'm telling him what an idiot he is and if that were me who allowed that, he'd be telling me how stupid and irresponsible I was and he says 'Oh, just let her be a kid'. I just about lost it! For years, he has been the exact opposite. I said, 'Too bad you couldn't have been THIS guy for the last 15 years'! His response? 'Well, I'm being him now, and you still want me out?'. O...M...G. I told him that he's just 'playing' nice and he'll be nice for as long as it takes to get what he wants and then he'll be back to his old ways. But what he's trying to do is make the kids think that dad's being nice and trying to work things out with mom and mom's just a bitch. He has also been making me look like 'mean old mom' because somehow a leaf bug got in our house and he and Chelsea have decided it's our new free moving pet. When I say that bugs do not belong in the house, hopping around our kitchen, he makes it seem like it's an irrational, selfish thing to say. Then he tells Chelsea that 'mom doesn't want the bug in the house' instead of 'bugs don't belong in the house'. So I told him again that he either leaves or I will and he says, 'Go ahead'. I reminded him that I'll be leaving with at least Chelsea. So that's where I am. I have actually contacted 2 ads for the same apt without knowing it, so I'm wondering if I'm fated to see it. But obviously, that's where this is going. As well, he decided to stay home yesterday around 4:00, so of course, I couldn't make any plans (not that I would have since I was sick, but you know what I mean). Then HE goes out with his friends. I'm a married woman living like a single parent. So why shouldn't I just BE one?!

Okay, that's my rant for today. I serioulsy hope there won't be another today. It's beginning to exhaust me. LOL!

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Some people shine like a star in the first moment. Others keep their light hidden until they are ready to show us.

Trace - remember, kids are a LOT smarter than they let on.  They'll get what they can out of the situation, of course, but don't assume that they're fooled.  And don't expect them to talk much about it.  With that kind of a flipflop right in their faces, they don't even know what will or won't get them in trouble.

Love, Columbine (who swore to herself never to forget what it was like to be a kid, and to always keep explaining it to the grownups once I was one and had some credibility) 

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Because I was sick yesterday, I was already cranky so I played right into his hands. I'm sure to Chelsea it looked like mom was just being SO mean to dad, who was just trying to make her happy.

I think the flipflop with Jim is just making them breathe a sigh of relief that he's not being a jerk. But now it probably seems to them that I am! I'm feeling better today, so I'll be less likely to fall into the same traps. Plus we'll be going to Tee's later and I can relax.

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Some people shine like a star in the first moment. Others keep their light hidden until they are ready to show us.

Words from a buffoon:

Unfortunatly the female of the human species comes with the ability to feel guilty without any help from others, The male does not. Hard to say why but, for goodness sake Trace have no regrets. Take a page from the guy book just do it and don't look back. easy to say not easy to do! My husband uses a term that is really true when you think about it it came from some unknown  comedian; 'Women don't get hysterical when they get angry,they get historical', and yes when I am angry with someone I have everything they have done that I didn't appreciate pop into my mind. little pearls of wisdom alright. I like to use the positive; Smile It keeps them guessing, Say thank you when you unexpectedly receive what you have asked for... and continue on your way.

I am working in denial now My DH assures me that our children will find their way in life in time. I think I have raised a family of fools, guess that makes me the biggest clown around I can't hire people at work because there are too many jobs folks can pick and chose and my kids can't find work?? because of my position I can't hire them. So who is the fool in all this mess hmm?? yeah I know, smile it keeps them guessing!

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~The mind is like a parachute, It always works best when it's open~Edna Buchanan~

~Northern Spy~The Apple of my Pie~

~Audrey~