Congratulations Robin and Emma! I am so happy for you both! I'm still on the pushing end for another few months with Adrian, but we'll get there! I wish they'd waive community service for him. I just feel like it will never get done. He is so about himself...which, of course, is partly due to AS and partly because he's a teenager. He doesn't seem to have any ambition. It doesn't help when a couple of times a week his father tells him that he'll never graduate or go to college and he should just go on disability and live with us forever. I kid you not. This is what Jim says. I will not even repeat some of the other stuff he's said to Adrian and about Chelsea. I'm beginning to think that 26 years is long enough to put in with him. But that's a whole 'nother rant.

Conratulations again. Emma should be very proud of herself! I hope someday she thanks you Robin, for all the pushing you did to get her to this point!

---

Some people shine like a star in the first moment. Others keep their light hidden until they are ready to show us.

Thanks Trace, Fran, Anne, everybody!  I am so relieved and happy for Emma! 

Trace, Tom is the same way with Emma.  Constantly ridiculing (sp?) her and telling her she's a piece of crap and that she'll never amount to anything.  His concerns and frustrations are absolutely real and she does have major issues.  But.....he's not helping her with his nasty demeanor towards her and shows her no love or respect (she shows us very little also but it's still not right).  I sometimes wonder who the adult is here?  I don't know what the answer is, but it is hard for me to deal with day in and day out.  Then he gets upset with me when I try to help her or am nice to her.  Sometimes I just want to send him to time out - in another State!  LOL!!!

Adrian will get there, I just know it.  I know you will never give up on him.  It just takes some longer than others, especially our special kids.  I will pray for him (and you) that he sets his mind to it and gets it done.  Emma, too, has little or no ambition.  It's hard to understand considering how bright she is.  She says over and over again how she just doesn't like people in general - and it shows every day.  Her attitude stinks.  She is full of promises and ideas but very rarely follows through with anything.  You can believe very little of what she says.  I'm just trying to accept her for the way she is and hope that she will mature eventually and get off her high horse and deal with the real world.  I'll help her when she's ready but I have a feeling she's gonna do everything in life the hard way.  Stubborn, stubborn girl! 

Have a good weekend!

Robin

So, a couple more weeks till school starts. Arg. Gotta get back into that 7 am routine...ick. I haven't even started planning Chelsea's lessons. I called about her counselling and when I explained everything to the woman on the phone, she assured me that Chelsea would be moved up in priority. The following week I got a letter stating that it had been recommended that Chelsea receive short term, interim counselling. Meaning that she'd go see a totally different person than she first met with, in a totally different place, learn to trust them and eventually get switched again. And it's a man. Uh uh. Not gonna fly. Chelsea needs to see, and continue seeing, someone she trusts (and that will not be a man) at a place convenient for us to get to. The place we went first was easy...get on the bus at the corner of our street and it goes right past the place. I have no idea how I'd get out to this other place. The whole thing is whacked. I want her back in school, SHE wants to be back, but we both know she's not emotionally ready. (According to my all knowing husband, I'm just keeping her out of school so I don't have to get a job. Yeah right.)  WHY does everything have to be so freaking difficult?!

---

Some people shine like a star in the first moment. Others keep their light hidden until they are ready to show us.

Well Trace it's like I tell my kids there is no tatoo on your butt that says life has to be fair! There is no owners manual and no gaurantee on your life. It sucks but it's reality. If you want something go get it if some one is standing in your way go around them or ask them to move please. Anything worth having is going to take blood, sweat, tears, money or all of the afore mentioned.Above all : with ordinary intelligence and extraordinary perseverance anything is possible give it your all and take nothing less than requested.

OK end of the you can do it speech.

I have been absent for sometime here and congrats are way over due YAHOO Robin and Emma!    I cross my fingers that everyday Alex will not lose his job, He seems to be in self destruct mode at present, hard to explain and not easy to live with. Thankfully Chris is with his grampa so he is not subected to this as he is always Alex biggest irritant. Not that Chris does anything Alex just dislikes him most for some strange reason. The end is in sight though We will pick Chris up when we take Alex the the Tourettes Clinic in TO next week. Hopefully we will get some help for Al there, cause there is none up here!

Laura had her wisdom teeth out today so I am home 'nursing her' better, she is not a difficult patient unless you are trying to get her to take meds or eat or drink! I am glad she had them all out I can't imagine going through this twice with her, she is acting like this is a personal insult to her that she would say bleed or have pain or not be 100% normal when she woke up from the procedeure. I have been very good not to laugh in front of her. Dear lord if she ever has a child I think I want to be on the other side of the world when it comes.

Life's a Peach!

 

---

~The mind is like a parachute, It always works best when it's open~Edna Buchanan~

~Northern Spy~The Apple of my Pie~

~Audrey~

Trace,

I hope you can find a counselor that Chelsea likes.  Emma had a man first and they didn't hit it off.  She came out of one of her sessions with him and just said, "I'm not coming back here; I fired him."  So, that was that.  She refused to go to counseling for several more months and then we tried it again with a female counselor who she loved.  She has stopped going to her now because she is working too much; she really seems okay without it.  I don't know how it works in Canada, but can't you pick your own counselor?  Here we have certain groups that we are allowed to work with that our insurance covers and we have to go to someone in the select group.  And of course meet a healthy deductible which always kills us at the beginning of each new year.  I hope it all works out for Chelsea; I will be praying for you all for a solution to the dilemma. 

Audrey, thanks for your note.  We are thrilled about Emma's graduation.  Now if we could just get her to clean up after herself I'd be elated.  I hope the clinic is able to help Alex.  Emma either quit or got fired from every job until the one she is currently at.  Not sure what the difference is - I believe it's simply because we stopped giving her $$$ and the only way to drive the automobile is to buy your own gas.  She always runs about before paycheck time and we do end up "lending" her a little bit, but we always make her pay it back.  And hope Laura feels better soon with her wisdom teeth.  I had mine out at 15 - all 4 were impacted.  It was awful.

Take care all,

Robin

Wow I was kinda tough yesterday! Sorry Trace I didn't mean to sound unsympathetic to your problem, I was trying to be inspiring for you to fight the fight you have ahead 'cause you and I both know nothing happens unless you make it happen. Bureaucracy at it's best, is no match for a mom whose child is in need!

Laura is doing fine, her teeth were all impact and it is never a pleasant experience. We learned from this that she is a very determined whiner when she is sedated. I expected no less from her, my children are always very determined (not stubborn) at all times. Sometimes they are determined to do the wrong things but hey anything with conviction is better than being passive.

Still got my fingers crossed, He's desperate to drive me off the deep end about now, but I am grittting my teeth and bearing it(no dentists lurking around eh!).

---

~The mind is like a parachute, It always works best when it's open~Edna Buchanan~

~Northern Spy~The Apple of my Pie~

~Audrey~

No worries, Audrey. I know you well enough to know what you meant and how you meant it.

Robin, the counseling we're going thru is covered by our provincial health care (OHIP), hence the wait! We can't choose the counselor, but since Chelsea already met with one and was very comfortable with her (she keeps asking when she's going to see her again), I can tell them that she is who we prefer. What's the use of going to someone else when she's already met with someone she connects with? Silly.

Yeah, wisdom teeth are not fun. Adrian had his out at 15. The first day he just sat on the couch staring out the window. Then the drooling started. It was like he was 6 months old again! He must have went thru 3 boxes of tissues! I was tempted to go buy him a bib! He set himself back on the third day, starting to bleed again, because he wouldn't follow directions, but by Sunday (he had them out on Tuesday) he went to an anime convention. Like a certain band says, 'it's all your state of mind'. Very true sometimes. Adrian was bound and determined to make it to that convention. Tho, Adrian is a fantastic healer. Never seen anything like it. When he had his tonsils out, he was talking clearly the next day. When he had his abdominal surgeries as a baby, both times, he was supposed to be in for 10 to 14 days and was out in 6. The kid can get the flu, the kind that will knock anyone out for a week, and so long as something comes out one end or the other (LOL!), he's over it in a day. Just incredible.

Okay, housework to do and  have to get things together for our zoo trip tomorrow. It figures it has been quite cool this week and tomorrow is supposed to be 30. The zoo in summer is not my favourite thing. (Anyone who has been to the Toronto Zoo knows how huge it is). We usually go in the fall, but my sister wants to go there, so we're going. I just hope I don't have to listen to my kids whine about how hoooooot they are!

---

Some people shine like a star in the first moment. Others keep their light hidden until they are ready to show us.

So, the zoo was gruelling. We haven't done the zoo in summer since before Chelsea was born. Now I remember why! Whining and complaining pretty much all day. Had a scare too, when Adrian and Chelsea wanted to go into the pavillion where the gorillas are and we told them we'd wait outside and they were to come back when they were done. We waited 10 mins and then my sister went in to get them, came back out and said 'I've looked thru the whole pavillion and I can't find them'. So I went in the building while she went around the building, and just as I was beginning to panic, I got her text saying 'got them'. They had gone thru the pavillion and out the door on the other side to the elephants. I tried really hard not to lose it, but then Adrian kept saying, 'Chelsea wanted to' and being rude and disrespectful to me and Tee took over with the 'don't you ever talk to your mother like that' speech. I said later to Tee that anyone who wonders why Adrian cannot babysit Chelsea should have been there that day. All he had to do was come back out and say, 'We want to do the whole pavillion, so we'll meet you on the other side by the elephants', but he gets caught up in the moment and it doesn't even occur to him. (According to Chelsea they 'forgot about us'. Okay then.) Then he was mad for the rest of the day when I wouldn't let him and Chelsea take off ahead of us. The whole day wasn't horrible, but the heat was. We went to the new 'Stingray Bay' exhibit where you get to touch stingrays as they swim by. That was cool. Chelsea could have stayed there all day. (It occurs to me as I read over this that I'm putting all the blame on Adrian for their disappearing act...Chels got in trouble too, but he was in charge of her and I trusted him to be responsible.)

Does anyone remember how Chelsea wanted to take horseback riding lessons? Well, I think she's going to. There's a place here where she can go once a week for $125 a month. We're getting $100 from an organization that helps with extra curricular activities for children in lower income families. So she can go for a month and see if she truly enjoys it and wants to continue and then we'll see what we can do from there. It would be no problem if I was working, but I'm not. I'm not even doing daycare anymore because Chelsea's being home schooled. So we shall see. At least she can have it for one month, so she's happy.

Okay, off to do laundry. Yay me! Have a great day everyone!

PS...The mermaid in my avatar is from a box I painted for a friend. I'm really proud of how it turned out. (I wish it showed up better in the avatar, but I think the general idea can be seen.)

---

Some people shine like a star in the first moment. Others keep their light hidden until they are ready to show us.

The last 2 posts were by me...I feel like I'm having a conversation with myself!

Well, I spoke to Adrian's principal today and hopefully we've hammered out the details of his first semester. We have to wait till the first day to see if he got his very desired bakery course. Gawd, I hope so. He's going to be one unhappy camper if not. So he'll have 2 classes this semester and 2 next semester. According to the principal, he needs 3.5 credits, but I'm sure that's not right. I'll have to dig out his report card from June. But it keeps him busy anyway. Now we just need to get that community service done. Oy.

I'm off to bake lemon tarts with Chels. She's been bugging me for 2 days now, so the tart shells are baked, now for the filling. I promised her we'd be fancy and put meringue on top (she originally wanted me to make a lemon meringue pie), so I'll be busy for awhile!

---

Some people shine like a star in the first moment. Others keep their light hidden until they are ready to show us.

If he likes cooking, have you looked into getting him to volunteer in a kitchen somewhere? (Of course preparing food at a shelter, hospital, or nursing home probably would be rather institionalized and not as fun).

---

"I see you in the front row, bouncing up and down, you're ripped and ready for a night downtown." ~ Margarita
What's wrong with a little flirtation?

Monster Tee

Hi Trace,

I do not have a child with Asperger's but wanted to encourage you to continue to be a great advacate for your son.  I am a teacher who happens to also have cerebral palsy.  I know my parents support and encouragement were key factors in me achieving my goals.  They advocated for me until I could do it myself.  As a teacher, I have also seen the positive effect positive parenting can have on a child's advancement.  I know that we all have days full of frustration and that is normal.  I hope you find the answers and support you need and remember--- It's an ''ordinary day' and a positive attitude makes all the difference.   I listen to Ordinary Day often and dance around as it helps me get into a positive frame of mind. 

 

Hello to everyone,

I haven't read thru the whole thread.... it's a little long!  But I wanted to join in and say what wonderful people anyone who has a child with special needs is!!  I have a son who has physical and mental delays, there isn't really a name for what he has, just that he has serious brain damage from seizures.  He has had brain surgery twice, but has been seizure free for over 10 years.  He is now 17 and can't wait to start school next week!

Good luck to everyone getting all the help you need.

Chrissy

welcome Chrissy feel free to jump in anytime.

 

 Hi all. Well we started at the new school, I was SO scared that this would be a disaster and it has turned out to be the best thing we could have done! In going through with Karissa's teachers now I can see how she was coddled at the last school and not given the credit she deserved. They were wonderful people but they ere on the side of caution a lot.

They have mainstreamed her now for most of the day. They have an aid in the classroom with her but she handles the other 2 sped kids as well. Karissa is the least of her worries she says. :) that felt pretty good.

 

 We have decided to go ahead with the MRI and the genetic testing. I think even if we never know what it is, knowing what it isnt is just as important.

 

Anyway, nice to see all the progress with your kids. Sounds like this will be a big year for all of you!

 

---

There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when it's convenient. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results.”

Okay, I've been reading this thread for ages now and never said anything.  I think all you folks who do for your kids are great.  I have two perfectly "normal" kids and I know how much work that can be.  I am humbled at what some of you go through.  Mine are young yet.  Last year my son started JK and his teacher said about a month in that he probably has ADD (not ADHD).  He was FOUR!  He is a boy and he'd never been to school or daycare or anywhere else where he'd have to do what the group was doing. Plus, you can't diagnose ADD before 6 - there's just too big a range of normal before then (at least as I understand it). We're going back for SK and he's got the same teacher.  I'm worried about him getting an inappropriate label and being treated differently because of it.  I understand the necessity of having real problems properly identified for treatment.  I've met kids with ADD and ADHD.  It's real, but it's not every kid who doesn't react immediately.  I know somebody's going to say that with so many kids in the class it's important to have control over the group, etc.  I just wonder how teachers like these (and I know there are some great teachers out there too, and others who just mean well...) would cope with a child who actually has a problem.

I'm also now worried that the teacher will be right.

Anyway, that's my tiny rant.  I have no problems compared to some of you folks and that makes me feel better in a rather selfish way.  Good luck and strength to you all.

 

---

Sing an unwritten song or repent for the deeds you left undone.