Postscript

re: Postscript

Sun, 07 Dec 2008 00:48:03 GMT

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught
To say the things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I (you) took the blows and did it my (your) way!

The toll your chosen life takes on you is considerable. I continue to marvel at your ability to heal at home, then return to the punishment of the road time after time. You've given us more of yourself than we deserve, and we are well aware and eternally grateful for the sacrifice.

This was a grueling tour. Perhaps age and endurance will play a part in future schedules. We want to see you. We don't want you to kill yourself trying to get to us, though.

Here's hoping you have lots of long walks in the woods (my personal sanctuary) and plenty of snuggles with the wee ones. Perhaps you can heal enough to find yourself beckoned by the siren song of the road once again. We'll be here for you, either way.

Cheers!
Janeill
<Still stuck on those dirty rocks>

re: Postscript

Sun, 07 Dec 2008 01:01:50 GMT

Thanks for all the great music this summer and fall! Happy and restful holidays to all of you boys and your families. Have a nice rest, your New York City fans wish you well and can't wait for you to come back again!

re: Postscript

Sun, 07 Dec 2008 05:43:30 GMT

Wishing you and your loved ones a very Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year!

I hope you have time to breathe and time to smell the salt air.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your and your families sacrifices to us all.

Best wishes.

re: Postscript

Sun, 07 Dec 2008 08:09:18 GMT

Tosh, you'd be surprised how well kids forgive and forget. You may get a tantrum here or there, but so long as you're emotionally present when you are at home, they do get over it. I speak from experience. When I was little my Dad worked as an electrician on several high rise developments in Toronto. He worked long hours, leaving as early as 5 in the morning and coming home for a late dinner. Most nights I'd have only an hour or so with him before it was time for me to head off to bed.

I acted out in my ways, but rarely was it ever at him, I don't even think I consciously associated my fits with his absence, though I did have a problem with going to bed because as my mom has so often said, I was anxious to be excluded from what was going on in the house. I'd keep really quiet in my room and sneak my pillow as far out into the hall as I could while keeping my feet in the room (couldn't get if I was still technically in the room).

It became a nightly ritual having Dad peel his unconscious daughter off the floor and bundle her back into bed. We had our morning rituals too. If I ever managed to wake myself up before Dad left for work (which was often enough to be annoying and disruptive to the rest of the family) I'd drag out my Fisher Price turntable and my first 45 (a copy of Sheena Easton's Morning Train). Dad & I would sing along & have a dance & then he'd head out the door. Though our reality was more like 5 to 9 than the 9 to 5 that Ms. Easton was singing about, it was little things like our dance that made the separation okay.

Just remember. Kids are like rubber balls, highly resilient & they always bounce back. They'll be fine & so will you. Happy Holidays & Happy Hiatus. Enjoy your time off!

re: Postscript

Sun, 07 Dec 2008 12:03:49 GMT

You help me, and countless others, find a glimmer of hope, pleasure, even glee in our everyday lives. I am just one of the masses humming your tunes, singing in the car, and reliving moments spent at one GBS concert or another on a daily basis. Because of what you bring to your work, I am able to do my work. I teach. I understand being completely depleated after having given my all to help the kids in my care make sense of the world and get ready to run it. When I began my career (ironically right about the time you boys began yours as GBS), I was given an exerpt from the dedicatory letter from George Bernard Shaw's Man and Superman. It has helped me understand why I do what I do at those times when I begin to question whether it's all really worth it. At the time it was given to me, I would never have imagined how real and true it would ring:

"This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.
I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can.
I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no "brief candle" to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations."

Enjoy your rest, your family, and the holidays. You deserve all the best!

re: Postscript

Sun, 07 Dec 2008 18:22:31 GMT

Thank you for being at the helm of that amazing ride. That feeling of being full of life is worth it, providing for your family is worth it. When you put on a show, you leave each one of us feeling more full of life, and we are so appreciative of you giving up a huge part of your lives to give us a little bit to take with us.
Getting old with ya', btw, and understand how you must feel keeping up that kind of schedule. I feel it every day, at my easy pace! Like Janeill said, take it into consideration next Tour, we don't want you to kill yourselves trying to meet a grueling schedule.
Enjoy your Holidays with your family. Nothing quite like a 2 y.o. on Christmas morning! Have fun and cherish every moment!

re: Postscript

Sun, 07 Dec 2008 18:46:39 GMT

As hard as it is on you and your family, as I mentioned before, if you weren't doing this you wouldn't be you. You'd be someone entirely different, your life would be different and you might not have the people in your life you have now. Watch It's a Wonderful Life if you need reminding.

Take advantage of your time at home.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year,
And Thank You.

re: Postscript

Sun, 07 Dec 2008 19:54:23 GMT

The career path we choose in our lives is much more than a mere obstacle to doing other things we'd rather be doing. It's a means to which we can enjoy the more precious things.

Are you missing out on special moments with your children? Probably. But don't forget that there'll also be a lifetime full of special moments still to come. If you look at the glass more full than empty, then you can focus more on the endless days of interrupted pleasure you get to spend with the little ones when you are reunited. Some people would call you lucky to have that kind of opportunity and have such a flexible lifestyle.

Every adult has a burden to carry in order to make life easier for our families. The door-to-door salesman, the ER doctor, the sanitation worker, the singer on tour. Every job comes with it's perks and it's sacrafices to be made.

Your little boys are so lucky to have such a cool dad who cares so much that his heart aches.

"Half an hour of sunshine is worth a little rain...."

re: Postscript

Sun, 07 Dec 2008 20:45:45 GMT

Tosh & Sean,

We really do appreciate the sacrifices you and your families make to deliver a couple hours of happiness to us. We carry that happiness around each day in the form of CDs, blogs, Winter Angel exchanges, friendships, roadtrips, etc. You give us much more than you can imagine. I hope ur reaction to your music gives a little back to you too. Enjoy the time at home. Play as much as you can with your boys and kiss your wife often. We thank them for sharing you with us. Have a blessed and happy holiday and may the coming year bring only good things your way. And a little accupuncture might help the elbow.

Anne

re: Postscript

Mon, 08 Dec 2008 03:06:58 GMT

Sean,

There are no easy answers. A father who questions what he does, hoping to make the best choice, weighing both sides, will do the best he knows in the given situation. You can question the time apart from the family, knowing that being away from them is part of your job, and you miss them is part of your own answer. You have to let them know that you love them, and when you are there spend quality time with each of them, play trains and planes, cuddle and hug. talk with them, read to them, teach them, sled with them, ice skate, go for walks. The quality of the time you are home, actively involved with them is a big part of memories.

I look at my own memories of my father who worked a 9 - 5 job. Often after work he would either go out to the bars, or 'retire' to his workshop to work on wood working projects or his guns. If I took an interest in the workshop I was given my own project to do away from him. We would go to the range and he would have me shoot separate from him 'on my own range,' he never shot with me, never took pleasure in my own accomplishments with bow and arrow, or with gun. If he took me fishing he would set me up in my own place, walk 50 yards down and fish on his own. I learned to bait a hook, cast a line, and remove a fish on my own. If there was a problem, he would be close enough to get over to me, however otherwise I was just off to the side. He was never active in my life. While other friends had their father there for boy scouts, baseball, soccer, concerts and plays, my father was never there. At the same time he would never ask about these events in my life. Even now, after all this time, the only time I hear from him is when I take an actively contact him and include him in my life. I have now lived 20 minutes away from him for 2 and a half years, and have invited him over dozens of times, however he has of yet to come over. He is a removed father, he cares in his own way, and I will always try to include him in my life. I will always love him because I do know he cares. When I get together with him and do stuff with him he talks to my sisters about it, and let them know how happy he is that I came over.

I know he cares even though he isn't active in my life. It was not an easy thing to figure out, because of his non-involvement in my life. He did the best he knew how to.

My point being take an active roll in the boys lives. Get on the floor and play with them, read to them, sing to them, cuddle and have fun. Tape yourself reading stories out loud, so they can be played when you're away. It is okay for you to have time for yourself when you're home but give them undivided attention every day. Have 'Daddy and me' time with them. Have an indoor 'camp out' with sleeping bags and smores. I'm sure you do all this stuff. I'm sure you feed them, and change them, and tuck them in. You've commented about falling asleep with the newest boy on your chest in a favorite chair. Share these memories with them. Take pictures, write journals for them, let them know about your hopes and dreams for them.

I can't say you won't make mistakes. There are not always right answers for what you do while raising your sons. Just do your best, love them, and let them know you care. That's all you can ask of yourself.

Take care, and most of all have fun with the sons.
Michael

"I'll sail my ship to safer ports
And with her flag unfurled
I'll plot a new and better course
And build a brave new world." - Stay

re: Postscript

Mon, 08 Dec 2008 04:49:07 GMT

Dear Tosh-Sean,

I feel deep sadness reading this. Our boys are roughly the same age as yours, I suspect.

This is a hard one. I feel it's almost foolish for me to try to respond with anything at all, except perhaps to say I empathize with what you feel, especially given the demands of your job...to the point where I feel weepy.

I admire what each of you does immensely. GBS had lifted me in so many ways and moments over the years, moments where I felt broken and lost, when I forgot what joy was. GBS has been my muse at various points along the road. I know my sentiments are shared by countless others.

Having said that, if the band were never to play again live, I would be forever thankful of every note I've heard, danced with, and sang out in amazing chorus.

Home is the place to heal, the place to fill your cup. Warmest thoughts to you & your loved ones. :)

re: Postscript

Mon, 08 Dec 2008 14:48:42 GMT

"what is said..has been said, whats been done..has been done, now go on home to the little ones."

I hope you have a pleasant christmas....I raise a glass to you!

re: Postscript

Tue, 09 Dec 2008 05:37:18 GMT

Sean,

I can understand how much you miss your boys and how happy you are to be home. I can not stand to be away from my kiddies one night - can not fathom how you do it weeks at a time.

They can now have your full attention. You have expressed many times how you miss them, and now is your time to make it all go away. Play, play, play! Read to your little ones, take them for walks. Enjoy them and all who love you.

Thank you so much for what you have given to us. Thank you for chosing to entertain us and make us happy I had the post concert glow for a few days after. You are an unbelievably incredible singer and musician.

I wish you and your family a wonderfully Merry Christmas and a very Happy & Healthy New Year. Take Care.

re: Postscript

Tue, 09 Dec 2008 23:48:11 GMT

Would love to thank all the boys for a great ride this tour. Can't wait to see you again in the spring!

As an aside, it is not the time apart your children will remember the most, but the time you spend together if you make it meaningful. My parents divorced when i was four. i saw my dad every other weekend...because he lived about two hours away. i remember all the fun times we had, playing in the snow, watching movies, talking. but i also remember that every night before bed, he would 'tuck us in'. it didn't matter how old my brother, sister or i got, he would always kiss us good night and give us a big hug. in fact, when he comes to visit me now, at 27 in my own house, he still does.

and i will remember that always about my dad. despite the distance and the time apart, he was always a good dad and i always knew he loved me.

that is what counts.

Best wishes for the holidays and the new year for you, the other boys and all your families. you deserve the break!!

re: Postscript

Thu, 11 Dec 2008 01:07:20 GMT

I'm in agreement with danarion. As one who is halfway between childhood and parenthood, I can relate to both sides. My dad travelled a lot when I was a kid, but that's not really what I remember about him. I remember sitting on the floor playing Legend of Zelda with him. I remember him bringing me home keychains from wherever he went. I remember him making my lunch every day until I graduated from high school (now THAT was special!). And I remember him giving me away at my wedding. So as hard as it is to be gone from them, they'll not hold it against you. And Tosh, cherish every ear-pull, sneeze in your eye, and tearful hug. Those days are done far too quickly.

Steph

re: Postscript

Thu, 11 Dec 2008 04:30:03 GMT

Safe home, Sean (and Tosh of course!). The wee ones know you love them, and that means the world.

Thanks for sharing your music and life with us. Blessed Be.

re: Postscript

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 07:52:53 GMT

I've noticed that your tour schedule seems to be a few months on the road, then a month or so off for the past few years, and I thought it was very sensible. It lets you tour just long enough to know what you're missing, then lets you get home to it/them before it becomes background pain- it's always there, you just learn to concentrate on other things instead.

re: Postscript

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 16:29:25 GMT

Enjoy your time with your boys when you can, it is ultimately the quality of time we spend with our loved ones and not the quantity. It is far better to be with them in the moment when you are with them then to only be partially there all the time. I am a single mom of two little ones and I often wish I could be playing with them more and cuddling more then sending them to watch TV while I do dishes or wash the floor. It is more important to give them the time when you are around because ultimately they know that you love them and you have a job to do sometimes.

Thank you for giving us the wonderful gift of your time when you are out on tour and your amazing albums I don't think you will ever realize how special your gift to each fan is. THank you and have a wonderful Christmas with your family

re: Postscript

Mon, 15 Dec 2008 18:13:58 GMT

As the daughter of a travelling journalist, I can tell you that your kids are probably luckier than most. Because you miss them so much in your absences, you're most likely more attentive than most 9-5 dads (as mentioned above) to make up for it. One of my earliest childhood memories is of my mother desperately trying to keep us awake with cold washcloths on our faces (blech!) so that we could see my dad stalking the sidelines when the Giants played someone on the West Coast. Whenever he got home, it was like Christmas, not because of the presents, but because he would come in like the giant bear of a man that he was and hug us all and then put us back to sleep if his flight got in after bedtime, as it often did! Oh, and Tosh? Even the dog got in on the excitement - one time when he got home around midnightish, she was so happy to see him that she wet the middle of my parents bed!

Thanks for the sacrifices, the music, the laughter and the fellowship that you've given all of us. My best thoughts of my dad now are in knowing that he gave everyone he touched 200% of himself when he was with them. That's a great example to set.

Cheers & Merry Christmas...

Kati