Let's get Retarded

re: Let's get Retarded

Thu, 29 May 2008 10:21:08 GMT

I think Tosh means Hari Kari. Sappakku is a state of...ah never mind, he's only a beagle.

Having 2 offspring of my own, both of whom survived 2 year old hood, I have come to the inescapable conclusion that a certain amount of blunt head trauma is necessary for normal human development. I had my boy at the hospital a while back, checking to see if a limb was broken. It occured to me to marvel that he's reached his 9th year and HASN'T broken anything yet-still, as it was just a bad sprain.

They're amazingly resilient little critters, with a few tragic exeptions, they can and do survive.

McCann can take some cold comfort in the knowledge that the grey hairs resulting for toddler wrangling don't show up all that well in blonde hair.

re: Let's get Retarded

Thu, 29 May 2008 10:56:21 GMT

I have a feeling, Tosh, that it'll only get worse. L'il One will learn earlier on from Older One how to do these things and Older One will only encourage him to do them. The stupider the stunt, the better. I hear there are steep hills around St. John's and riding down the street on a toy Batmobile may be in their future. As well as things like convincing L'il One to scale the wall unit to reach a toy that's been removed from Older One's reach because L'il One's less likely to get in trouble for it.

You have a tough road ahead, Tosh. You should have put in a request for a girl. They can actually be more trouble but usually much less of the 911 kind. You have to put up with some sickening cooing and fawning over her when little but think of the entertainment in 12 years when McCann would start wandering around with a baseball bat for potential suitors.

re: Let's get Retarded

Thu, 29 May 2008 11:41:59 GMT

Here's an additional thought to get you through those tough times...It could always be worse. The Mrs. could've had puppies (or **gasp** kittens). You know what happens when cute little puppies or kittens come into the house, don't you?

re: Let's get Retarded

Thu, 29 May 2008 11:43:03 GMT

@ Fran:
I wouldn't agree to girls being less of the 911 type. *coughs innocently*
Especially not of they have a dog... and if they like driving their bicycle extra fast down the hill... and if the dog doesn't like the bicycle. I ended up hitting the dog and then the pavement... braking with my face. Dog and I were not amused - and mum even less. Thankfully, Prince (the dog) forgave me my rowdiness once I was back from hospital.

So, Tosh, if one of the little ones ever gets his own wheels, I suggest not chasing after them.

re: Let's get Retarded

Thu, 29 May 2008 11:53:28 GMT

I used to think I had things under control around here--yeah right!--steering Toddler with a chorus of be-carefuls and go-easys. I used to think my vigilant reminders tempered the more dramatic toddler impulses...

All that was out the window a couple months ago once Baby started to reward Toddler's antics with chuckles and delight. Not possible to compete with sheer delight. Impossible. lol!

Ears up Tosh, the months ahead will be an adventure. You'll be in a comfortable groove in no time.

re: Let's get Retarded

Thu, 29 May 2008 12:33:01 GMT

Ok, Tosh, I am a glass half-full kind of girl so let's look at this in a positive way. There's one more person now to take the blame for your spills, shenanigans and mayhem -- you've got four paws, get out of the room quickly and enscounce yourself on that couch and shed. I guarantee the little ones will just stand there (not sure about the "big kid"). Once they outgrow the tail pulling stage, just think -- you'll have an extra pair of hands to hug you and another person to play with. And as for a girl, I think you lucked out -- imagine what the indignity of a tea party and dress-up would do to your beagle psyche???

Stay strong Tosh and embrace your position in the house -- something tells me McCann may be seeking you out more than ever!

re: Let's get Retarded

Thu, 29 May 2008 12:52:17 GMT

Tosh... from what I understand, being a suicidal two year old is pretty par for the course these days. Watching Leno waaaaay back (when I could stay up past 9:30) Johnny Depp described 2 yr old Jack's repeated attempts to walk through walls... no learning curve. Leno said, "What is he, stupid or something?" Depp replies, "He's TWO! He's testing his boundaries."

If you ever need a break, and you find yourself in and around Toronto you are welcome to crash with me. The oldest kid is 30 (yes thirty, not three with a typo) and the couches have been sadly sans dog hair for 4 years. The back yard is big and there are wild bunnies that need to be watched (very little running involved, a mere presence is enough to keep them away from the flowers). Because our Bichon was moderately disabled the house is pet accessible, step stools are available for couch & bed mounting / dismounting... the back door is always open a touch. It just needs a good hard nudge from a cold damp nose.

re: Let's get Retarded

Thu, 29 May 2008 14:32:34 GMT

Yes, the older one will encourage the wee one. Yes, they will find sorts of mischeif to get into. Yes, they will test every limit multiple times. Yes, they will pull your tail, hair, ears...even your "dangly bits", but yes, they will grow up. And then, they'll be your best friends - they'll want to play ball with you, chase you, and they'll find all new sorts of trouble to get in to (and blame on you)! Now, just immagine what trouble they could find at 10 and 8? Even worse at 16 and 14 - Mine are 15, 10 and 8 now and Ohoooo boy! the fun is just beginning! McCann thinks that 2 y o's have a death wish? Try a 15 1/2 yr old boy - talk about "retarded"!!! Honestly, it is amazing that our species has survived this long!

re: Let's get Retarded

Thu, 29 May 2008 15:16:55 GMT

My boys are still alive... really... some days by the grace of God I am sure and the fact that I love the buggers... lucky them...

Terrible two's yes... F'in four's Tosh four is worse... believe me... and you will have a four year old and a two year old in the house you McCann and the Mrs.. just better hide out... lol.. pack up and just HIDE!!!

My oldest... at FOUR came out of the bathroom... saying "Oooo oooo" after the toilet flushed... Me... "WHAT? NOW!" FOUR year old "it's not a Hot Wheels" ohhh but it was!!!!

But in the end.. we have all survived... so far!

Congrats to the McCann family... =)

re: Let's get Retarded

Thu, 29 May 2008 18:36:33 GMT

Sean has it right with "Seppuku".

re: Let's get Retarded

Thu, 29 May 2008 20:56:33 GMT

Want to keep the kids under control? Start reading 'em (and memorizing) Sandra Boynton books and teaching GBS songs. That kept my two boys calm in some hairy moments when they were toddlers.

Now, of course, they sing the songs back to me and I worry they'll sing the wrong songs in their (Catholic) school! ;-)

re: Let's get Retarded

Thu, 29 May 2008 21:21:34 GMT

My son made it to 16 some how, and he was forever bounding off things and going flying. And he was two when he decided that he had to ride his bike to the hardware store...his grandpa had asked him if he wanted to go and Kris said that he'd ride his bike instead. Well, what we all took as Kris riding his bike and what HE meant were two different things. Police were called and the neighbourhood scoured...and he was found 11 blocks away 'fixing' his trike. Thank goodness. Here we'd all thought that he was happily riding his bike around the outside of the house... Once I explained to him what could have happened he's been a cling-on ever since...

And we aren't going to get into his Eivle Kneival days where he'd literally run and jump on the couch and execute a perfect tuck and fly over the back on the couch...and land on the hard floor. Yes, it was during the time he was two. Never thought he'd live to see 3, let alone 16! Now it's a matter of reminding him to wrap his sausage...ugh...

Be grateful you aren't small enough to squish, Tosh. We had cats that my son was convinced were his personal landing spot when he'd do one of his stunts. Very quickly all three cats learned to hide when Kris was awake!

re: Let's get Retarded

Thu, 29 May 2008 21:28:23 GMT

Oh, this is nothing poor tosh, imagine this lovely little scene that happened at my house on Tuesday!

Me, whooping it up big time make dinner in the kitchen (wa-hoo, best time ever!)

I hear a yelp from the playroom, I call down, "is everyone ok" "yesssss" comes the response from my two little angels. then I hear a thunk, and a clunk and a crash, and then the older one, the four year old starts chanting "go go go go go go" I thik to myself "how nice they are encouraging eachother, what a lovely support system that will be, I am so glad we had two so close together. Then I walk downstairs......

Destruction! Everywhere! The molar grown buzz headed two year old is standing on top of the toy cupboard, dumping buckets of toys onto the ground while merrily hanging on with his one free hand. The above mentioned 4 eyar old is standing on a chair in teh "kitchen" chanting "go go go go go" and the floor well the floor is covered, covered in legos, barbies, matchbox cars, pom poms, feathers, foam pieces, crayons, and assorted fake foods from the kitchen, oh and all the containers that all that stuff had previously been stored in. Little stinkers!

A lovely lesson of you clean up the messes you make, and a more clear description of what it means to be a responsible big sister followed my entrance!

2 years Tosh, you've got 2 years before the same thing starts happening at your house on a regular basis. No where to run, no where to hide, toys everywehre, 6 inches deep! You will beg the boys to tour 365 days a year, which sounds down right marvelous!

re: Let's get Retarded

Thu, 29 May 2008 23:49:08 GMT

Oh, Tosh...just be thankful they aren't girls! My own two little lads (nearly year-old beagles) were subjected to my two-and-a-half-year-old niece wanting to 'play ballerina' with Dexter and Theo one afternoon. Fortunately for them, I had nothing in the house that would suffice as ballet costumes so they merely had to deal with her chasing them round and round the kitchen island.

So, buck up, lad. It could be worse! :D

re: Let's get Retarded

Sat, 31 May 2008 16:30:29 GMT

Tosh! More kids in the house = more food on the floor!

re: Let's get Retarded

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 23:15:00 GMT

Tosh, things will only get better. You just have to be patient. It will happen years down the road :P

Congrats to the McCanns on their new addition!