Frankly, given that you've already disclosed the fact of your neutering, I consider Doyle's comments highly insensitive. Pee in his bunk, I say.

Look, you know what you're doing and what you need to do better than anyone else does. Don't animal instincts count for anything anymore?

Awww, Toshm hang in there. You have the suppport of all of us out here, if that counts for anything :)

I can see the Puppy Dog Eyes pleading for mercy.  Poor pooch can't "beer" it - me thinks this is no mere typo.

And here I thought MacFarlane had your back the other night...
The nerve of some people ;-)

Are you strong enough?

Temptation assaults us at every turn.  The belief of the one beer never killing us may be true, however it makes that second beer that much easier to take.  Same with drugs, sex, tobacco, food and everything other comfort vice known.    

People will have setbacks in their life, and both actual and imagined pressures will occur from friends, family and strangers.   Do you deserve to be punished for former misdeeds, that is something you have to search yourself for.  In my case I ask if I was purposefully hurtful in my misdeeds, am I sorry for those and did I try to apologize.  If you unintentionally hurt someone, did you ask for their forgiveness.

No, it's not right if people are maliciously going out of their way to hurt you.  Should your friends and family be required to change there life style in order to make your life easier or more comfortable?  In a perfect word it would be nice, however you can't expect people to change (or totally change) just because you have changed your life.  People sympathize for you, however those on the outside will never know everything you are going through.  Those on the inside might miss things their friend used to do, they may be struggling through your unhappiness, and don't like to see you so down.  They might not know the words, or the things to do to make it better.      

Unfortunately, you work in a field where you will be surrounded by the very temptation you have given up.  You are constantly pressured to be on and be happy and be part of the party.  People crack under that pressure.

Your friends and family are there for you, and they will feel pressure trying to make things as normal as possible.  But this situation is not a 'normalized' situation.  Things are not going to be better and back to old normal in a week, a month, a year, a lifetime.  The new normal, the sober normal is hard.  You've had a crutch that you relied on for more than half your life, and you have given that up.  

Remember why you are doing this.  You can do this. You are strong enough.  

Have a good homecoming.  I hope its full of laughs, smiles, hugs, and kid drool.

Lastly and totally of topic, the writing is beautiful.  The wine paragraph is something most writers try to achieve and can't.

Peace out

Michael  

What he said.  Micheal said it so well, but I find that I have to add my two cents anyway.

As a recovering drug addict (even though I haven't touched anything in a very very long time I'm still recovering) I know what it's like for people to not understand why you can't touch even a drop of what it is you're addicted to.  "Here, have a toke.  It can't hurt you" is a refrain I've heard too many times to count from people who don't know what it's like to be me.  It's meant the end of several friendships, or at least a break while they get their heads out of their arses.

Boring?  Hell yes.  But at least I'm still alive and I have my priorities straight.  Family and health come first.  I'm even to the point that I start panicking at having to take more than one Advil to get rid of a migraine...simply because I don't want to start the cycle of drug abuse all over again.  Yes, over a stupid friggin' green liqui-gel that can help ease a colosal headache.

It will take time for everybody to understand where you are coming from but in time perhaps they will.  Even if it requires you beating them senseless with a cluebat.  They don't know what it is to walk in your footsteps so they don't know what exactly you are going through, hence them being twits about it.

Keep on slogging through it though.  You know you are doing this for all the right reasons, and that is what matters the most.  One day at a time.  Oh, and tell the others to piss off.  Drinking doesn't make a man interesting or less boring...it's what is in his heart and his head, not what is in his hand or being poured down his throat.

Bonnie,

For the migraines have you tried acupuncture?  My puncturist actually does a pretty good job at helping me cope with the migraine situation.  Fear of needles not withstanding, if you can put out the payments for a couple treatments they sometimes will help prevent future migraines (this helps me with my allergy specific migraines)

Also what has helped me with migraines (usually at point and time of pain, blindness, numbness, etc.) is meditation, yoga, massages and the breathing method.  just other options that have had a positive effect on me, with no drug interaction, that if you have the time and money you might want to check out if you have not seen these methods.

(yes, it is a pain having others shove their methodology down your throat with migraine remedies, especially when they don't know what you go through.  No offense is meant by the above, it is something that has been partially effective for me, and for a few other friends.)

Peace out

Michael

I suggest you bite Bob, nothing less boring than a trip to the emergency for stitches and shots. Hit Alan over the head with the flask. Pull rank on Kris & Murray.

Can't help you much with McCann, you're at his mercy but I get the feeling you could curl up next to Glenn when you need some comforting (if not, come see me in your time off).

(Or just go with what Chiara said. Pee on everyone's bunk. They can't blame you. When you're drinking you can't always control your need to empty yourself. A couple of rounds of that and they won't be so eager to to try to ply you with liquids:)

Tell those bozos on the bus to back off.  Sometimes, Tosh, the people who care about us most have the hardest time when we change, even if it's for the better.  Some will understand eventually and others may fall by the wayside on your way to recovery.

And if all else fails, peeing on their bunks sounds like a great idea.

Oh, Tosh, definite animal cruelty going on here!  ARGH!  I'm with the others - pee on their bunks.  A little empathy would be in order here.  

People do have a hard time when someone they've known a long time initiates a change in their lives.  They may be grieving the change (because change ALWAYS includes a loss of some kind or another) and trying to figure out what that means to their relationship with you...without even knowing that's what's happening in their heads/hearts.

The b'ys do love you, but they don't understand what you're going through right now.  That sucks.  Maybe McCann can help you tell them what you need from them right now, sometime when things aren't "charged," as in, you're not p.o.'d at them for some taunt or other?

"Just one drink" is such a misconception, and one that can be easily rationalized in a weak moment.  STAY STRONG!  You are taking care of yourself and you are not there to be the floor show! Boring, indeed!  When I got clean I had some people say that to me, but after a period of adjustment, we found new things to "bond" around, or we stopped hanging out. It took some uncomfortable conversations, sometimes, but it was worth it.

Courage, my good pup!  And patience and wit AND grit!  We're all pulling for you!

p.s.  I agree that acupuncture is fabulous for migraines.  I've found it works for many things for me.

Thanks for the tip about acupuncture :)  I'm fine with needles as long as I can't see them go in.  Thanks muchly for those suggestions!  Any little bit that helps is wonderful, in my opinion.

I'm proud of you!

Carry on, wayward son.

Oh, Tosh, we're rooting for you!  Another vote here for peeing in their bunks.  Or in their beer.  We all have our demons, some of us just have ones that are harder to hide.  You'll find your footing and it will get easier to resist.  Stay strong and remember that lots of good thoughts are being sent your way!  

Coming from someone who gave up a major vice this year (smoking) - stick to your guns Tosh!  People may taunt and temp you ... but if you stay strong, you'll feel better about yourself in the end!  Besids, the healthier you stay, the longer you'll be around to enjoy McCann and his brood!  You may even outlive your taunters (and wouldn't that be a kick in their pants). :-)

Stay Strong!

Oh, Tosh darlin', we are rooting for you! You should have stayed in California with those that would have taken you in and loved you like you deserve.

Come on back and I make up for all the bad things those boys have been doing to you.  Tummy rubs, back scratches and all the Godiva chocolate your little heart can handle.

We love you, hang strong!!

Ah Tosh,

My sympathies.  I feel your pain.  I have similar problems with certain nefarious people who want me to eat chocolate against my will.  I try to resist, but temptation is all around me and my so-called friends have no sympathy.  They actually think it's funny when I succumb.  Scumwads.  
Peeing on everyone's bunk would be a good short-term expression of your disdain, but I  wonder if eating the Beatle's poster in the studio might give the boys a longer lasting hint of your displeasure.  You might also consider taking a well-placed dump under McCann's bed when you get home.  The smellier the better.  Unfortunately for me, all I can do in my situation is just grin and bear it.  I have to work with these morons.
Keep the faith!

Sean (I can't pretend I'm talking to a dog...sorry...not when it's about a life or death matter) sometimes it's hard to tell with you what's supposed to be a joke and what's serious.  You do that thing all of us guys do and pretend to be joking when you really aren't. So I'll guess that in the middle of all the big laughs there's genuine problem you're talking about here.

I've been dry for 14 years now. I lost my family to booze. I lost my job and a big part of my health and almost lost my life too. Then when I finally quit (it took many failed attempts and broken promises) I lost a lot of my best buds too because they weren't interested in the sober me or feeling like they had to restrain their own drinking around me. A couple of them eventually wound up losing everything.

If you have family and friends who'll support you and help you while you save your life, hold onto them and thank God for them. If you have friends who won't do that for you, you need to walk away buddy.  No matter how much you think walking away might cost you, it will cost you a hell of a lot more if you don't.

May God bless you. One day at a time, friend.

Tom

Tosh... You're plenty interesting dear... not that I know Bob, but from brief exposure to theBob I have observed that the only thing that seems to hold his interest is the sound of his own voice... that being said, I find his voice incredibly sexy & I'd be blessed to hear him read the phone book... forwards, backwards & inside out... but I digress. You've got a lot going for you, you just need a pet project... perhaps the folklorist needs to put together an article for Ethnologies or Material Culture Review... put those brain cells to work now that they've been freed from the boozy haze.

Brick walls, all of them. Remember not to bang your own head into them. Use theirs, they are probably harder than yours. If they won't get out of your way, start carrying a sledge hammer.

Tosh, Tosh, Tosh... while I like the idea of peeing on their bunks, to be truly effective you need to get them each where it will hurt the most.  Chew up (one of) the book(s) Bob is reading... pee in Alan's hair-care products... Run through Kris's bass drum... Explain to Murray that if one drink won't hurt you then one bite won't hurt him and demonstrate. As for McCann... well... steal his bunk and sleep on his pillow. Preferably when you are feeling particularly gassy. Or maybe even bus sick...

Then flip your nose at all of them and skip the drinks anyway. You've too much to live for to give in when taunted to weakness. ;o)

Ahh.  Getting sober for someone else (family, friends) always sounds like a great plan in the beging, and it certainly a way to get started, but lacks the power to sustain.  At some point it becomes clear that appreciation and support from others, while nice, is a poor substitute for selfworth.  As much as you love them and they love you, they didn't get you drunk and they are not going to keep you sober- it's all you.  Suggestion: be compassionate with those who are having a difficult time adjusting to the you who's not drinking, as well as trying a dose of compassion for yourself.

Tosh,

Hahaha! :D

Excellent blog & responses. Obviously, you can't rely on the Company of Fools (and by that I mean Us Humans).

I am surprised at McCann though, through his songwriting over the years he's been a steady advocate of LOVE over fear/war/strife, etc. It seems to me that Love is the answer here too, the great panacea. I'm not being glib.

If your life depends on it, as you say, then your life depends on love. It's not such a bad position to find yourself in. We're all in the same position. We are Love, at the core. Loving yourself is central & catalytic. Some of us explore that way of being consciously, others don't, some scoff. Whatever. Love is the answer.

We're in your corner, beagle buddy, but all we Company of Fools can do is cheer, leer, or dangle a beer.

The rest is up to you. You're in good paws. :)

WOOF!

Y'know...Horatia has a point.  Perhaps it would be a good idea to indulge in other interests.  Pick up your folklore studies again and finish that Masters degree.  Just a suggestion!

Studies show alcohol shrinks the brain, http://www.canada.com/calgaryherald/news/reallife/story.html?id=039bbaf9-837b-497e-a7ee-7f20e841ffee

Shame on them, Tosh.  Stay strong!  You're doing the right thing, and all of us here are rooting for you.  Nobody around here will ever think you're boring.

Go treat yourself to some Godiva, and don't share any. :)

Nah... just call the ASPCAA...
*snork*

Ummm.. revenge is spelled C-A-T....

Sean/Tosh,
Sometimes, humans have strange ways of processing change.
Hopefully the jabs are in good fun. It is not easy, tho. Kibble in Baileys would be disgusting . I would not want to be around the smell of it.  You are doing a great thing.
We have each been given unique gifts and are never boring.  You are one of the most interesting writers I have encountered, Canine or otherwise. I hope it’s a bit easier now...home, in a different environment.  Praying for you, buddy. You seem to have made a major positive change and deserve to be proud of that. Your voice sounds great, too. Take care.

[img]www.keelhaul.ca/IMG_1838.JPG[/img]

Baby Steps.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz............

I think it is great that you have quit drinking.  I assume it's medical.  I don't know the reason why but for whatever the reason; good choice.  To have alcohol in your face in the lifestyle of rock and roll would cause anyone to drink heavily.  Till they made the choice not to.  I understand why you looked to me that you were mildly annoyed at Lower Deck when the bossman gestured for you to pick up a glass to toast.  Like wtf I don't want the alcohol man!  A perk or not a perk.  

When I want a beer I think Sean isn't and that makes the craving go away.  You must have people like that in your life who are not drinking and help you along the way.  

One of the few things I can be greatful for is not growing up with alcoholic parents.  No bad memories caused by drinkers, till they became my memories of myself drinking.  In highschool where it became the thing to do on weekends.  Scares me to think my children will be there eventually and alcohol scares me more then say marajuana.  I have been behind the wheel drunk, don't know how I didn't crash, I know many others who have done the same.  Bars filled with drunken drivers.  For god's sake why don't they just add in the breathalyzer to vehicles as a mandatory.

Someone may see you as boring for not drinking but then you can see them as foolish or worse for drinking.  I lived with an alcoholic, and saw some messed up shit like him waking and going to the fridge to piss.  He thinks cause he has few beer that there is a party, ahem, you are the only one partying.  I've been best friends with the toilet, causing myself to throwup some alcohol so I can keep right on  drinking more.  Blackouts.  My mom saw this in me as her dad was an alcoholic, said I should go to AA at age 19, if not 18,  That is only after drinking since say 16 and a half.  I quit drinking when I had children.  Every now and then I think about what it would be like to be an alcoholic again, to drink and party, hopefully I never get there except for a few social drinks.

Like House of Pain sang "Sean McCann gets all my love"

Tosh/Sean - I wish I could be at the Rochester show tonight.  Family duties call though.  Just picture a sign saying "One Day at a Time" being held by a middle-aged blond woman, who's with a bouncing 11 yr old girl in an Obama t-shirt and a husband that looks like a blond grizzly bear.  We're with you in spirit.  You only have to make it from one moment to the next.

Peace.

Stay Strong! You can do it...

I love Fran's idea on peeing on everyone's bunk. Mayby you should run with it.