Tosh, there is such as thing as arse floss...but it's called a g-string.  

In answer to your second question, Tosh, I really don't know. But, from what I've seen, men tend to panic when they see any noticeable hair loss. ... Okay. I know. I know. ... You're shedding. You can't help it.

I really don't know why they panic either. Your guess is better than mine. Maybe it's because men just don't look cool like you beagles do when they wear a rug. They should embrace the shedding...  ;)

My guess is that he's not so much concerned about your hair loss, but the fact that he doesn't want to be wearing your cast-offs.

A good friend once pointed out to me, there's nothing more beautiful than a nice head of hair and yet there is nothing more disgusting than even a single strand that has become detached. It's a human obsession that non-humans just have to live with. Be strong.

Believe me Tosh my old man is worried about losing more of hair than anything else. Poor guy, maybe  he could learn a lesson or two from you. I have two dogs of my own and believe me when they shed it's like everything is covered with fur. Oh well thats the way dogs are I suppose!

Per your suggestion, I've googled "porn." For the first time in my life. (No, really.) Now my computer's got more trojans than my goody drawer. You've lost my trust, Tosh.

Although, I have to say, I am not entirely sure how you made the mental leap from hair to porn. But I can dig it.

Dunno, Tosh.  For the record, we ladies also enjoy beverages rumored to "put hair on one's chest," and often find ourselves seeking "the hair of the dog" the following day.  Not to split you-know-whats, but yours is technically "fur," and is SUPPOSED to fall out now and then, no matter how long ago you were born.  McCann, by the way, prompted an awful lot of swooning by merely neglecting to cut his hair a while ago.  I don't think it's such a crime in either case!

Hang in there Tosh, we humans have a lot of foibles, and the hair thing is just one of the many....we should all be more like you....happy just to get a tummy rub!

One more thing...Battlestar Galactica is frakking awesome!

About the extensions bit... Tosh, this isn't a nice answer, but in some impoverished areas people pay women to grow their hair & essentially harvest entire villages like crops. They are provided with copious amounts of beer so that their hair grows strong... that's what I was told anyways.

Some extensions are made of synthetic fibres (monofilament) and some are even made of yak's hair, but it just doesn't look or behave the same as human hair.

Having said this... I've never personally worn extensions. Being Italian I've got more than enough hair. When I got sick a few years back I lost about 40% of my hair & the only person who noticed was me, my mom (because she had to hear me whine about it) and my dad because picking the hair out of the drain is man's business... not mine.

If McCann gives you a hard time about the whole shedding thing you can ask him whether he'd rather have to go through the whole grooming thing with a hypo-allergenic breed. My Nikko had hair instead of fur & trimming him could have been an olympic sport. We tried keeping him in a show cut when he was a baby, but the adventurous little marshmallow that he was... that was just impractical... he was not but a magnet for burrs, thistles & teasels. The body hair was bad enough, but you also had to trim/ shave around his bum & manly bits or else he'd be dirty / wet... never fun. He'd need to be held down by two people & trimmed by a third. I understood his fear, but for real, his struggling only made it harder & more stressful for the girl holding the shears. So unless your man has it in him to force a little dog to live in terror of the brush, comb & shears... he's just gonna have to put up with the shedding.

Tosh, my dear boy - you're not approaching this "hair" thing the right way.  
Did you know that there are fiber artists out there willing to pay, mega bucks for threads, flosses and yarns out of "exotic" materials? Everything from Cat hair to goat hair to Flax and wheat, ever corn silk - and yes dog hair. If you play it right and shed enough between the two of you, you can get some one, somewhere to card it and spin it and dye it fancy colours and sell the "Great McCann Floss" - hand dyed and over dyded it would likely sell well.
Have a talk with the lad, tell him that that hair that he disdains is a virtual gold mind  and he'll never bother you again. ;)