Bob's Journeys

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Waterford Bridge and the Mental - Avenues of Despair

When I went to school in St. John’s, for the first primary years, and then later again in high school, both my institutions were buried in the depths of the Waterford Valley, in the district known as Waterford Bridge. This was at the tightest point in the deep ravine that defines the southern and western approach to St. John’s. Historically, this was settled by Irish farmers, and the local place names - Kilbride, Waterford, the Goulds  - still reflect the language they brought with them.

There were two ways to walk home, which pretty much everyone who didn’t live way out in the country still did in those days. Almost everyone in school had to walk westward up the valley. As far as I recall, the kids who lived east of the school went somewhere else. Who knows, that was terra incognita. For me, walking Option A involved a windy hike up Topsail Road, from what is now Hazelwood Crescent to Cowan Avenue, a dreary prospect which ran along a series of parking lots, and ended with a detour through an abandoned tuberculosis sanatorium. I still have nightmares about that place. Even so, I usually walked this way anyway, because the other route could be even weirder.

Option B should have been really pleasant. The Waterford Valley is tree lined, runs past the verdant Bowering Park, and was supposedly much less windy and cold than the plateau above. My usual route involved looping around the somewhat spooky lawn of Corpus Christi church, and then taking a shortcut through the grounds of the Waterford Hospital, a.k.a. the Hospital for Mental and Nervous Diseases, but better known to the locals under the depressing nickname of ‘the Mental’. The Waterford still has a bit of a grim reputation in St. John’s. Even now only a handful of the city’s populace have ever been inside, and fewer still have had cause to wander the halls the way we did. When I was a kid the hospital was still full of people who in a more enlightened age and place would have been able to live quite productive lives in the outside world. Unfortunately, in those years it was still an asylum in every inch of the word, and almost a thousand people were living there. Most of them were not really victims of the sort of psychiatric diseases that should have required long-term hospitalization. Instead, family circumstances, poverty or general ignorance had seen them deposited to the Waterford. A lot of them were just a little odd or delayed, but had nowhere else to go. Those who were not violent or too impulsive spent their days wandering the grounds, seeking conversation, smokes and reassurance.

As children they were both fascinating and terrifying to us. Long-term residents were dressed in the sort of cast-off and remaindered clothes that only the desperate or indifferent would even consider. A lot of the men had a uniformly terrible haircut, what used to be called a ‘bowl’. Patients who might be in danger of injury would likely be issued with a cheap hockey helmet, along the lines of that sported by Borje Salming. They were not hard to spot. Every walk through there was an adventure. One might be trudging along, swinging your book bag when a heart-wrenching scream would come from an open window, where some poor soul reliving a past terror would be waving furiously. You’d be hearing that again at 2:00 in the morning in your nightmares, I’ll tell you. Another day, me and a couple of other lads were booting a soccer ball along in front of us as we cut through the landscaped grounds. All of a sudden a little old man appeared out of nowhere, and laughing manically, (really), grabbed our ball and took off into one of the buildings many tunnels. We actually had the temerity to complain, to a reasonably normal looking adult who was hanging about nearby. (Tell an adult - that was what you were supposed to do when a nut stole your soccer ball). A minute into our complaint, we realized the hopelessness of that cause. Our interrogator took a great interest in our case, and began questioning us in extreme detail about our ball in a ludicrous British accent. “Shit, he’s a patient too,” a guy named Chrissy whispered, and a minute later we were the ones running away, eventually flinging book bags and ourselves over a chain link fence while our now very agitated Sherlock Holmes shouted lunatic questions behind us. I can still hear his Monty Python voice: “Come back, chaps, we’ll catch that dastardly knave…”

On the other hand, there was a lesson to be learned there too.  While the patients sometimes scared me, on the whole I lost my fear of the mentally distressed. Most of the patients we encountered were pretty odd, but so were a lot of the other people in the St. John’s of that era. There were no group homes or assisted living situations here then. People who were sick, mentally disabled, had Alzheimer’s, or suffered from depression and whatnot, who didn’t end up at the Waterford, often just stayed home. Lots of people I knew had weird people sleeping in the basement spare room, or spending their days staring out the window. It was just the way it was. The patients at the Waterford were just more exciting.

And passing by Waterford could sometimes offer moments of great dignity. One winter evening when I was in high school, on one of those very dark nights just before Xmas, I was walking the dog past the hospital. There had been a lot of snow that December, and the plows had pushed a huge snow bank onto the older part of the hospital’s lawn. One young patient had created a small snow fort on the biggest banks peak, and there he was marshalling an imaginary army into battle, defending his fort, rallying his troops. He had fashioned a small flag from a stick and a rag, and he waved it vigorously while shouting orders to advance and retreat, ducking from imagined artillery, encouraging his many troops by name. The general took no notice of me, and I watched him direct the battle until I was too cold to wait any more. An orderly also quietly watched over the scene, and ironically saluted me when I finally walked away. The patients’ caregivers had plainly decided that the general was safe fighting on the snow bank, and that he should be left alone to live in his imaginary world. Unlike so many of the people I passed there, who wore sadness and despair like a cloak, that guy was actually happy and fulfilled. A useful lesson too, about the power of imagination to transform your life.

The Waterford  has changed immensely philosophically in the intervening decades, but physically it is much the same. Walk past it some day. Your encounters may not be as exciting as mine, but then you never know where enlightenment waits.

Published Wednesday, February 17, 2010 6:05 PM by nicopop
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Comments

 

Helenwheels said:

Reading this did two things: In my mind's ear I could hear Jim Fidler's "Flow on Waterford River".  In my heart I felt uncomfortable. I have a son who is developmentally delayed and learning disabled.  He is nearly 18.  I worry for him as an adult.  Will he be a stranger in someone's basement, or spend his adult days staring from a window?  Will he have true independence?  I am glad people are no longer institutionalized in the same way, but then again, I wish there were more assistance available to him. I also wish that more people could see the beauty of people like this, like your experiences gave you the chance to see.
Thank you for sharing this Journey.
February 17, 2010 7:17 PM
 

Horatia said:

I can completely relate to the fascination with mental health facilities. As a historian I've found myself drawn to the history of mental health and the changing definitions of ability and disability, sanity and insanity, dignity and indignity.

Institutions like these are full of stories. Despite the general institutional stereotypes of injustice and indignity, there are great stories of personal fortitude and grace which beg to be told. In Toronto you've undoubtedly heard of 1001 Queen St (formerly 999 Queen) which is our local asylum. It came to my attention a few years ago (via an exhibit on the history of health care at the ROM) that 999 Queen has a patient archive. The ROM exhibit illustrated vignettes of the lives of patients living in the asylum from the late 19th & early 20th century. The most interesting stories were of the workers in the tailors shop and dining room. Though it would be easy to look at these people and say they were exploited, there are first person accounts which suggests that the work was a source of great pride for the patients since it allowed them to truly earn their keep, something that society at large would not allow them to do. The incredible optimism and resiliency illustrated by the accounts included in the ROM exhibit were enough to move me to tears. Since many historians have started honest and sensitive work into the interpretation of the history of mental health I've been really interested in getting into the archives of 999 Queen, but have had my few requests to access their material denied since I don't have a family connection to the institution and as a researcher my project is in its infancy and not yet clearly defined. For other reasons I've had to shelve this project, but I fully intend to revisit it again.

Thank you Bob for your reflections.
February 17, 2010 8:03 PM
 

alan-rocks said:

I too have heard many things about the Waterford hospital. I have not been as fortunate (or perhaps unfortunate) as you to actually experience some of the weird happenings attached to it.

We truly know the trials and tribulations of our fellow man unless we go through them or know someone who has gone through them. Its a sad but true fact.

Great journey Bob. Thank you very much for sharing. I can't wait to hear more.
February 17, 2010 8:47 PM
 

Bonnie-the-Bodhranista said:

I live on Cowan Ave and have had opportunity to walk past the Waterford a few times.  Or have looked upon it from the paths at Bowring Park at night from the pond.  Sometimes I will take the #6 and pass by the hospital, wondering about the occasional person who will shamble off the bus at the stop on either side of the street.  I can only imagine what brought those people that find themselves there...

I had no idea what the Waterford Hospital was all about until I started hearing whispers from people I met.  "Oh, you don't wanna end up there...you'll end up like poor Trixie..."  In my almost three years of living near the Waterford I haven't yet experienced anything truly weird, but for all I know that could change tomorrow.

Hearing about a building that I pass fairly often, an area of St. John's I call home, from somebody who grew up in the area I now live in is always interesting.  It's hard to imagine a thousand people behind the walls of Waterford now, especially in a time when resources are out there to treat people with mental and emotional impairments in a different manner.

Thank you for sharing this journey through part of your personal history, Bob.  I can't wait to read your next installment.
February 17, 2010 9:53 PM
 

Amethyst said:

That was a nice trip down your memory lane Bob! But... maybe that "orderly" wasn't an orderly at all? Maybe he was just another Sherlock Holmes? I must admit that at 4a.m. this morning when I first read the part about him shouting "come back chaps..." I found it quite funny. I'm sure that at the time though you didn't. I'll just blame it on my insomnia. I bet that every kid that walked to school has a story to tell but I don't think that it would be as interesting as yours.

P.S. Did you ever get your soccer ball back?
    Looking forward to your next journey.  
     
February 18, 2010 7:30 AM
 

Lynda said:

I walk by the Waterford quite often, at least in the spring and summer I do. So many times walking by, I've wondered about its history, what it was like back in the full-blown, full-house despair days of "The Mental". It's one of those kind of places that still broods darkly over its own past - you can feel that past hovering like a gloomy fog bank when you walk by.

The next time I walk by the Waterford, I will see it in the light of what you have written here. Terrified boys abandoning their soccer ball, would-be generals carrying on acts of imaginary warfare, patient orderlies overseeing the delusional skirmishes. The next time I pass by, I will see your Waterford, and that is what good writing is all about.

You are right - you really never do know where enlightenment waits.
February 18, 2010 12:59 PM
 

tfitzpat said:

Bob,   This is wonderfully told.  Brought to mind Franz Wright's "December: Revisiting My Old Isolation Room," which I mean as high praise.  Enjoy and keep writing:  

Lit window--I know you're still up there (in the past)/ where I left you
Scrawny starlings building/out of nothing hopeless shelter/in the  snowy corner of that window gone abruptly dark
I freely stand here/watching while you burn/unheard among the screaming, the/zombies, the pacers, the shit-fingerpainters and furious nocturnal soliloquists/
A bone-freezing wind blows. My mother/always left a shot of whiskey out/for Santa Claus, someone confides quietly/close to my ear/twenty years ago...
I think someone had lighted a candle for me/I am sure of it/with so few plausible causes/to justify the current/and remarkably convincing/impression of one of the normal/with which I now (most days) present. But/the unvisited
in dark churches, by their families now/unmentioned:
wind, cold wind, they blow the candles out and haunt Noel.
(from Wheeling Motel, 2009)
February 18, 2010 3:20 PM
 

Fran said:

Enjoying every second of your journey and can't wait for more. In this one it sounds like you were lucky enough to learn the same lessons as a child that Scout and Jem learned, that weirdos are human too and can teach you much in the slightest moment in time.
February 18, 2010 3:59 PM
 

WalterandCharlie said:

I had the dubious honor in Nursing School of spending 5 long weeks at Dammasch State Hospital- of "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" fame. It was in the early 80's, but it didn't look much different than it had in the movie.  The staff wore street clothes, instead of white uniforms, but the body language and interaction with the world around them clearly marked "patient" from "not a patient". Thank goodness I didn't have to spend long there- psychiatric nursing was NOT my favorite rotation.  But my hats off to those who can work that eerie, surreal environment.  And yes, I learned a great deal from my patients and I remember them clearly, even 25 years later.
February 18, 2010 10:45 PM
 

Mysticshadowlady said:

Hey Bob, I always found the Waterford very daunting.  I wonder how many Autistic kids and adults ended up there back then?  Life throws some odd shadows.  That which I once feared I may now have to face.  There's a lot to be said for the advice "Fear Nothing"


ssd
February 18, 2010 11:32 PM
 

beansnap said:

My first response was : So that's why you wrote  "...never trust a fellow with a helmet on his head."?   Sorry, couldn't resist. Please forgive if poor taste.

As a nurse I work with psych patients, homeless folks, and lots of folks who just plain don't fit the square hole. Most of them I really love. Its amazing what you find in people.
February 19, 2010 3:31 AM
 

AnneInPhilly said:

Bob, that piece was an enlightenment on its own. Having had several relatives spen some time in a mental hospital within the past 20 years, I can say some have not changed much. But I learned a lot at the one my son was in. Indeed, "crazy" people havea lot to offer and some psychiatric nurses and there to support rather than cntain their clients/patients. Attitude is everything in dealing with mental disorders. I'll choose to think about my inner Monty Python and "Look on the bright side of life". Thanks muchly for this entry.
February 20, 2010 1:24 PM
 

LeglessCats said:

Quite wonderful. Thank you for being awesome.
I'll admit it gave me a touch of anxiety just to read the word "mental" at first. I knew it wouldn't be malicious, but even as attitudes change and mental disorders have gone from the secret in the basement to antipsychotics advertised on television, and it's even okay to discuss PTSD and suicide, there is still a general lack of enlightenment out there. It either comes out as "get over it" or "oh, that is so sad, I'm sorry, let me be better off and cry for you and minimize your worth." It's so rare to see actual validation of the idea that someone (such as the General) can both be ill and still be more than their illness. Even today, many facilities (even short-term or non-residential) don't make it any easier. Even a release from a required 72-hour stay just makes you think "yeah, til next time" instead of the "you get a new lease on life!" that they want you to believe.

Not to focus too much on that, really, because the whole journey is truly great... I don't know that it's making sense, but as someone who would have likely been living in one of these places (and for the low price of at least five pills a day I'm some kind of better off), I really have to thank you for this one.
February 21, 2010 2:09 AM
 

bfkffisher said:

Bob - you must go see the new Martin Scorcese filn "Shutter Island", guaranteed to afford you more nightmares of said institutions
February 21, 2010 10:49 PM
 

CindyLee said:

Wow, I am so impressed that you would actually talk about something this meaningful and that yo aren't a website that is just fluff.  Anyway, this brought back memories of when I was a teenager and I volunteered in our local "mental intitution". What's interesting is that it was all physically and developmentally delayed kids that we went to be with.  Kids that are all part of our community and local schools now. Well flash forward and my son who has cerebal palsy and is developmentally delayed attended local schools and I have just helped him move into a semi independant participation house apartment.  The system is definitely not perfect and I have fought for so rmuch all the way through his life, but the experience of volunteeing was maybe there all along of an example of what I never wanted for my son. Again, thanks for discussing a thought provoking topic.
February 23, 2010 8:57 PM
 

OceanGirl said:

I always wondered about your calm demeanor in the face of the persistant homeless panhandlers, one chilly Vancouver night.  I was a little frightened of them, but you dug in your pocket, and gave them your change.  You didn't behave like they were old friends, but neither were you made uncofortable by them.  I found myself wondering about the type of experiences you might have had to bring this calm about, thanks for answering some of my wonderings.  Wonderfully written, as usual.
February 28, 2010 12:59 PM
 

Amethyst said:

Hi Bob, just wanted to say that I watched GBS on MM at the Vancouver Olympics & you were all just great! It was nice to see you all smiling & getting so into the music!
February 28, 2010 2:02 PM
 

IrishBlueEyes1122 said:

This Journey I can directly relate to. I spent much of my youth (and I still do, since I'm only 17) walking long-forgotten paths along old buildings like your Waterford. Also, my beloved little cousin is autistic, too, and he has his own world of imagination. One of his favourite games is acting as a sea captain, calling "all hands on deck" whenever a storm hits (which it always does).
Thank you, Bob, for sharing this Journey. You're a very talented man indeed.
March 26, 2010 8:18 PM
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