Alan's From The Road

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Tour Diary -- April 5, 2011 -- St. John’s -- In Bed

OK, it’s day 5 of lying in bed and the novelty has worn off. Who knew that lying down for this long could be so exhausting? Might as well make the best of it. This repose affords me an opportunity to comment on things that I normally go unnoticed by Yours Truly.

For example, I have watched more daytime TV these past few days than all the previous days combined. Regis and Kelly have a great chemistry. Regis I particular is the last of dying breed of Entertainers. Not hosts, or singers, or actors, or reality show celebs, but Entertainers. That guy could keep a show or concert or event moving smoothly along during a volcano. Cinders and ash could be running down the steps of the studio or theatre and that guy would still drop a funny one liner while singing a song and interviewing a kid with a dog doing stupid pet tricks. Truly old school in the best way.

I wish the Ladies on The View would not all talk at the same time. Eva Langoria is on there now. I shook her hand at the Robin Hood premiere in Cannes. Is it unfair that some people are just better looking than everyone else?

Ellen is really funny and quite possibly the best comedian on a regular scheduled show. Very appealing attractive person.

Every news show and talk show today has done an extended segment on Dancing with the Stars. Wow. This bed rest should give me a chance to listen to radio, watch TV and read magazines to catch up on pop culture. Dancing with the Stars defies me. I should say that I have never watched that show. Now, not like a singing or a music Idol show, where we “cool” folks like me won’t admit to watching it, but secretly have opinions about who should win. I mean honestly, full disclosure, I have never seen Dancing with the Stars. It comes on opposite hockey or something, I guess. There are many shows and bands and forms of thrill seeking and entertainment that I do not enjoy that others love. But very few that completely elude me like this program, while the rest of planet Earth is fascinated with every second of it. I can only assume that there is something wrong with me.

Can someone explain it to me? If you like dance shows, wouldn’t you watch really good dancers dance? Is there something thrilling about watching otherwise not that busy celebs compete at something they are not really that good at? Is t like attending a Charity Hockey game where musicians play against the pros? Is it a voting show? Is that it? People dig it because they are involved in the outcome some how? Fascinating to me. I would love to speak to a single person who likes this show. And I should not have to look very far as it is one of, if not the highest rated show on Earth.

Oops, back to the View. Who are the Real Housewives of New York? A reality show? They all talk at the same time too. Is that a pre-requisite for The View? Hmm.

Enjoying the Canadian Election coverage, I must say. Though, unlike the US, Canada is seriously suffering through a drought of Political Stars. You know, dudes like Cretien or Trudeau, or Obama, or Mr or Mrs Clinton. Not one of the leaders of either party up here have the Star Power to take the country on his back. I miss that. I know I should be mature enough to vote for a party or a leader and his or her policies. I know I’m supposed to be smarter than to vote for a clever talker with a quick wit who smiles at the right time for the camera. But I can’t help it. These dudes bore me a little bit.

Hey, how about Regis for Prime Minister.

Cheers, Alan

Published Tuesday, April 05, 2011 2:29 PM by Aaron1
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Comments

 

Lynda said:

Alan, I am so sorry you're stuck where you are, sorry about the boredom as much as the pain, but I must confess that if one of the results of your predicament is going to be more time for you to observe and comment, then it really is true that even the darkest of clouds has its very own silver lining. This was a delightful read.

Anytime you are in the mood to say more, please feel free to opine about whatever tickles your fancy, or - as in the case of Dancing With The Stars - bemuses your good sense.

You will be up and around and completely unstoppable before you know it.
April 5, 2011 2:43 PM
 

Lynda said:

P.S. Enjoy the game tonight. At least this will be one end-of-hockey season you will be able to see your fill of.
April 5, 2011 2:52 PM
 

alan-rocks said:

Yep, way too much time on your hands. :) But maybe that's a good thing.

I can't confess to watching much daytime television, but I will agree with you on Regis. Great entertainer. Sad that he's retiring, really. I've never watched the view, for the reason you mentioned. Hard to understand what is being said when they are all talking at once. As for DWTS, seen that a few times, and it was alright, but not really my cup of tea. Guess reality shows aren't really my thing.

I'm with you on the current election. None of the candidates really have said or done anything to impress me. It's getting to the point where I think I am not going to bother voting. Can't complain about who gets in then either. Regis sounds like a brilliant idea.

Resting can be truly exhausting, I know. But you need the rest. Your family needs you at your best, and you need to feel your best. Hope you have a speedy recovery!

And oh yes, before I forget, I second Lynda's 'enjoy the game tonight.' One of those 'win and you're in' games. Let's hope for a Habs win tonight. Enjoy, and hope you feel better soon
April 5, 2011 3:04 PM
 

sticckler said:

I think dancing with the stars is a combination of things that just tend to appeal to people. It involves 1) people we recognize in the form of "celebrities" 2) competition, in particular a judging style show that involves judges criticizing people and audience participation through voting  3) watching people learn new things (which includes laughing at the ones who fail) 4) flashy costumes, dancing, and music

I really think its about a formula much like a lot of reality shows. Add enough things people like together and people will watch. We enjoy watching people learn new things because by having them start out as beginners we believe that we might be able to do it too. We like those people to be celebrities, however minor, because that provides a level of recognition that helps us identify with the competitors. The celebrity angle and watching them be challenged helps reinforce the "hey, celebs are just like us after all" thing too. The competition factor is huge, most of the reality 'game' shows are all about people competing with each other. Having the people competing not being professional dancers means that there is more variation in skill from one dance to another, which means you aren't just seeing a string of good dancers which could get boring. And having judges there to give points followed up by audience participation allows us to either agree or disagree with what the judges say, based on how good we thought the dance was/how much we like/dislike that particular celeb/how much we like/dislike that judge. Then there is the drama of the results shows, stretched out endlessly to make people wait to see if their favourite got kicked off or not.  

And, ultimately it is flashy costumes, pretty dancers, dancing and music, and the mostly mindless entertainment that a lot of people want out of their reality tv watching :)
April 5, 2011 4:24 PM
 

alan-rocks said:

Couldn't have said it any better myself!
April 5, 2011 4:36 PM
 

dkhenry said:

So sorry you are laid up but very impressed you have the willpower to rest.  Not many dudes do!

As you will quickly become an expert in Dancing with the Stars, you will find it is a "vote for" show.  It does feel like everyone is watching until you dig a little deeper and find there are a small group of "others" who are not watching and that feels much better.

Glad you are following the Canadian Election coverage.  Very civic minded of you.  And speaking as one who worked for the President and Mrs. Clinton, in defense of Canadian politicians, they are 2 politicians who are very hard to compare to.  As wonderful and talented as you can imagine.  Great shout out to them!  As long as you vote, that is all the matters!

Feel better.  Hope to see you on tour this summer!
April 5, 2011 4:53 PM
 

Madtex said:

Here I was worrying about you... As I can see, you are keeping yourself entertained ;) Montreal vs the dreadred Blackhawks tonight... Have fun!

Madtex from Montreal :)
xx
April 5, 2011 5:14 PM
 

annathepiper said:

Speaking as one who's suffered through her share of surgeries, might I recommend to you how I got through my recovery time? To wit: bad movie marathon, baby!

Cheesy movies are so much more entertaining if there are painkillers involved. And the words "SyFy Original Pictures" are synonymous with cheese. :D
April 5, 2011 5:55 PM
 

MMPollard said:

I know a dude who could run for PM...smart, talented, savvy, and knows when to wink and when to nod.  Charms the ladies and the youngsters alike.  Last name of Doyle, currently on hiatus and watching lots'o'tv.  I think he'd do well. :-)

April 5, 2011 7:04 PM
 

mairzydotes said:

I remember my doc's words to me as he handed me a 'script for 10 mg diazepam, written liberally as 'take every 4 hours as needed' (mind you, this is a man I played rugby and drank with in our youth, before the pain of our foolishness reared its head in old age...):

"Stay down, and take these suckers until you don't mind watching daytime TV."

It does work...

Hope you are well soon, and the TV watching imparts much insight, amusement and bemusement.

And now, I leave you with the words any good girl raised on the SW side of Chicago must say:  "Go Hawks" :-P  (sorry)
April 5, 2011 7:50 PM
 

valbren said:

I work a lot--same as you when you are healthy--and don't see much for daytime TV either.  Thank you for confirming that I'm not missing much on TV while at work.  Rest up, take care, don't get too bored, and I hope you are up and at 'em when it's time to vote.  
April 5, 2011 8:58 PM
 

Di said:

I think Rick Mercer said it best:  "Red door or blue door?  Its not the doors I dislike it's the knobs out front."  

Yup...bout sums it up for me.

Hope you are up and about soon!

Cheers!
Di
April 5, 2011 11:14 PM
 

SamanthaSnow said:

Wow, it really sounds like you're bored!  You might want to try not watching so much tv.  Try listening to the radio, reading a couple good books, maybe take up drawing?  Something other than watching dreadful daytime tv!

Oh don't worry, there's nothing wrong with you.  I'm not much of a fan of DWTS or any reality tv for that matter.  I've only watched maybe two seasons of it, only then because there were interesting people on then (i.e. Kelly Osbourne).  If I'm going to watch people dancing I'd rather watch the pros.

Glad to hear you're following the election.  I do agree we need more Political Stars.  I'm rather bored with the leaders we have.  Although they can have their funny moments.  Hope your back is well enough by May 2nd to allow you to go out and vote!  I know I'll be at my local polling station.

Rest up and try to not go crazy from boredom ;)

Cheers!
April 5, 2011 11:29 PM
 

OldDominionGirl said:

You are not alone in your opinion of DWTS.  The appeal of that show totally eludes me. A bunch of washed up ex-stars and nobodies making complete fools of themselves.  I just don't get it.  What a colossal waste of time.  Actually, I think most reality tv is a waste of time.
I do love Ellen a lot.  She is truly funny, very witty, yet respectful of her guests.  The View reminds me of a hen party; not my cup of tea at all.  There are so few good things worth watching on tv any more.  Reality tv has ruined it for me.  Why watch a show about people who are nobodies and who act up only in response to the tv camera aimed at them?  A good example of how tv has fallen so low is the show about the Kardashians.  Why in the world is anyone interested in this silly family?  What talents do they have?  Absolutely none, save how to make money by getting fools to watch them.
April 5, 2011 11:51 PM
 

alan-rocks said:

I'm with MMPollard! Doyle for PM!
April 6, 2011 1:00 AM
 

togo said:

Alan one of the best parts of being laid up at this time ....PLAYOFF HOCKEY! It's the best parts of any sport in my opinion. Nothing like it!

Movie marathon has been suggested. Some ideas??
Slap Shot, Tropic Thunder, The Big Lebowski, Robin Hood, 1 of the 22 version of Friday the 13th, Mad Max, Caddyshack, Ferris Buellers Day Off, Gone With the Wind????........

Rest up and get well.
April 6, 2011 7:03 AM
 

Bluefrog said:

I was on bed rest many years ago and my (then) three year old came over and asked if I would read him a story.   So I said "sure...bring a book".  Well...he brought a whole huge stack of books and we cuddled and read stories for a long time.  So..reconnect with your son...play video games (you have a TV, right?  hook a game console up to it.  Then again you might lose..the younger set are far more savvy about those things than the parents.
 Try to relax and get well.  I hope they are managing your pain adequately.   I'm really looking forward to the b'ys heading to Eastern US in the near future!

April 6, 2011 9:11 AM
 

squeezeboxsarah said:

I also do not watch Dancing With the Stars, nor do I understand the draw.  I have watched So You Think You Can Dance, however, and am constantly impressed with the talen I see there.

I also agree that laying down all the time is hard on a person.  If I lay in bed too long in the morning, or try to take a nap in the middle of the day, I get a massive migraine.

Hang in there, and don't go too wild when you get your legs back!!
April 6, 2011 10:11 AM
 

LisaVt said:

I'm usually skeptical that you and your cohorts pop ever pop in to read this chatter. But seeing that you don't have much else to do, I'll weigh in with the hope that you may just read this .... yes, bedrest sucks after the first few good naps. If you're doing it because you're pregnant, at least there's a baby to look forward to. Not so for you, I'm afraid.

But there's more to bedrest than bad TV!! Life is short. Too short to waste it on reality housewives, for sure. The movie idea is perfect. I second "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" - just watched it with my kids and it truly does withstand the test of time. Given your history, "The Lion in Winter" is worth seeing or re-watching. Katherine Hepburn and Peter O'Toole are priceless. It's dark-ages humor that any Robin Hood buff will appreciate. My favorite line: "It's the fourth century - we're all barbarians!" How about anything Monty Python? Toss in "The Princess Bride" for good measure.

How about some books? Only if they make you laugh ... Anything from David Sedaris will have you busting stiches, so proceed with caution. My favorite is "Me Talk Pretty One Day" - I had to wrestle it away from my husband on vacation once. I brought it to read and he kept stealing it. Dave Barry's latest "I'll Mature When I'm Dead" is worth reading if just for his account of his first colonoscopy.

And when the little guy climbs up, try a game of Uno (our 4-year-old uses the Sesame Street version to kill us) or better yet, get a copy of "George and Martha: the Complete Stories of Two Best Friends." He'll have you read it cover to cover and you won't mind the stories one bit. You'll even have favorites ...

I'd put it all in a care package if I had a good address. But I don't, so maybe someone nearby can help track these things down. There's always Amazon!

Rest up so you're good as new for the summer. Patience and pain killers are your friends. Hope you can make the best of it.

Cheers,
April 6, 2011 11:44 AM
 

saxygirlnyc said:

Daytime TV is the pits.  But don't feel bad, I've never seen "Dancing with the Stars" either.

You should start playing World of Warcraft. (10-day free trial at www.blizzard.com) It's 100% addicting and can consume a good portion of your day (entire weekends) without your realizing it. It was perfect for when I had the flu last year. Join the Alliance on the Greymane server and we can play together. I have two characters that I play regularly: a Hunter named "Jeryth" and a warlock named "Delsigna." You can catch me online in the evenings and weekends. :)
April 6, 2011 12:22 PM
 

DanaG. said:

I'm sorry to hear that you've "come a cropper" as your friend Russell says.  I was on bed rest for about 4 weeks following a surgery a few years ago and can relate to the boredom.  I would suggest getting into a really cheesy soap opera!  They're absolutely puerile, but highly entertaining!  Plus, it'll add structure to your tv-viewing day to have a schedule to stick to.

Sending prayers for your speedy recovery northward,
Dana

P.S.- Dancing with the Stars eludes me too!

April 6, 2011 12:57 PM
 

Marella said:

Get well soon Alan. Use your time however you see fit, don't pay any more attention to those who try to tell you not to do this or how you ought to do that. If crappy TV is what gets you through the day or the night, more power to you.  Loves ya b'y!
April 6, 2011 2:33 PM
 

URWendell said:

It's unfortunate that you are laid up for a while.  However, I bet the Fair One & the Prince are both taking good care of you! Get better soon!  I enjoyed reading your commentary on daytime TV, reality TV and election coverage. I agree and I look forward to reading more FTR musings in the days/weeks to come, as you rest and recover.  Take care.
April 7, 2011 1:14 AM
 

LynnHR said:

Alan ... you've convinced me that I don't spend NEARLY enough time in bed OR watching TV!  I tried watching Dancing With the Stars once when the woman with 8 kids was on there. That was enough for me. Maybe it's the whole "reality" show thing ... I like to substitute reality for anything else. I know I'll get bashed for this, but TV hasn't been the same since Gilligan's Island!  :) Hope you eventually find a candidate you like ... I'm holding out for one with a full beard and a tall hat.  Those guys knew how to run a country! ... I'll just miss the drama.
April 7, 2011 12:24 PM
 

Amethyst said:

Re "11:11",your March 29th Twitter.
Have you googled
'what does 11:11 mean'?  Lots to read.
That should keep you busy for a while.
April 10, 2011 6:33 AM
 

pattycakes said:

Hello there. Have not visited the site in awhile. Recently saw this and your previous post. My apologies for any assumptions related to your back. However, a quick note from someone plagued by herniated discs/major back pain for several years. Have done the epidural cortisone route, PT and even some hip surgery. Most recently tried a Platelet-Rich Plasma Injection. Due for a visit to my physiatrist in a few weeks but, knock wood - this might have done the trick! And can't say enough about Pilates. Just an FYI should you find yourself on Google. Of course, if you have issues unrelated to your discs this was a completely useless post! Wishing you the best for a complete recovery.
April 11, 2011 9:08 AM
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