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Alan's From The Road

Tour Diary - August 20, 2008 - Martha’s Vineyard - Beetlebung Coffee Shop

Enjoying a day off in Martha’s Vineyard after some of the oddest travel and encounters in my professional life.  The past 24-48 hours have been boring, thrilling, terrifying and bizarre at times.

Immediately following the Philly Folk Fest, we rode to a near by hotel and grabbed showers and napped on the bus for a few hours before rolling to downtown Philadelphia for the World Café Radio gig.  They treated us very kindly there and the whole thing went off without a hitch.  It went so well that we finished an hour or so ahead of schedule so Sean and I bolted to the airport for an earlier fight than our scheduled 3:30.  We were leaving the bus, you see, to head off to Durham, New Hampshire to film some spots for a PBS program we hope to release in the Fall.

We got to the airport just after Noon.  The best of intentions were met head on, however, with a not so joyous lady at the US Air Counter who informed us of two things. One, the earlier flight to Manchester was oversold and we cold not get on it, and two, our 3:30 flight was delayed and would not be departing till 5:00.  We had 5 hours to kill in the Airport.  Boo.

After much pacing, email checking, departure screen staring, cel phone flicking, coffee drinking, supposing, doubting, scheming, tabloid magazine browsing, scrunched up paper ball and garbage can basketball playing, and self loathing, Sean and I finally got on a plane at 5:15.

We arrived in Manchester, an hour or so late and were picked up by a kind lady who drove us in the woods.  Yes in the woods.  In about ten minutes we were surrounded by nothing but tall trees, foliage and shadows.
 
It’s all staring to look very Soprano’s.  Jaysus, are we about to get whacked?

Turns out the road to Durham NH winds through miles of farmland and countryside and the driver lady had no malicious intent.  Our destination was the New England Center, a conference center and hotel planted deep in amongst huge pine and oak trees near the University of New Hampshire, but feels completely isolated.  From the drop off point, hotel guest need to wander down a winding path through the forest to get to the Hotel Lobby.  It honestly felt like being in a Robin Hood movie.  I kept expecting the Liv Tyler ride past on a white horse, whispering in Elvish or something. Surreal destination after a long day.

We ate in the hotel restaurant, which was quite good, and both retired fairly early as we were knackered.  I lay in bed for a while trying to get interested in the Olympics.  I watched some Table Tennis and some Trampoline or something.  Now, as many of you know, I am a pretty big sports fan.  But I cannot seem to give two shites about this year’s Olympics.  With the exception of the magic fish dude, Phelps, there seems little to discuss.  I’d hoped that my evening in front of the TV would renew my hope, but no sir.  Table Tennis and Trampoline just did not do it.  I s’pose I’ll have to wait for 2010, when Moose Hunting and 120’s are expected to be demonstration sports.

Myself and Sean met in the lobby at 8:30 AM and were picked up by a kind Gent from New Hampshire Public Television.  We went up the street, past the gorgeous campus (very Harry Potter) and were met by a few kind ladies who ushered us into a boardroom to discuss the business of the day.  This station has agreed to present parts of the Courage, Patience and Grit DVD to America in the Fall.  We were there to film interviews to accompany the broadcast.

After some discussion we were led to a TV Studio where we began taping.  Just before the questions began between ourselves and our interviewer, another announcer lady did a little intro, in a pleasant and reserved tone…

“We hope you are enjoying this program.  If you’d like to show your appreciation for programming such as this, we have several gifts to say thanks for your pledge for Public Television”

I’m telling you, it was perfect.  It instantly sounded like one of those PBS Pledge shows where we all watched Riverdance or whatever for the first time.  They’ve got it down, for sure.  Very cool.

We were done ahead of schedule and bolted once again for the Airport.  This time, Logan Airport was our destination.  We dashed to the Cape Air counter and once again tried to get on an earlier flight, only to learn once again that, the earlier flight was oversold, and we were bound to spend another block of time wandering through airport halls.

Mercifully, the time past quickly and we were walking down the hallway to the gate for the plane.  Just before we get to the big door at the end, the Cape Air employee, who looked to be right around half my age, turned hard right and headed down the steps where they normally pass down the stroller and stuff.  Figuring I was first in line, I followed her down the steps where an even younger dude took over, and led us round the corner of the building to our awaiting “plane”.

Forgive the quotation marks above.  I do not mean to suggest that a 9 Seat Cessna 404 is not a real airplane.  I just could not think if a better way to convey my sense of surprise to be approaching a commercial airplane that I’d have to step down into.  Holy frig.  My Mini Van is bigger than this plane.  I’m serious.

The young dude led us up to the plane and asked me to enter first as I was to be the co-pilot.  Funny, I thought.  That must be his standard gag to break the ice when people look nervous.  Wrong.  He lifts the side panel and points to the seat next to the pilot.  “Up you go”, he says. 

No joke.  Ten seconds later, I’m sitting next to Captain John, and I can feel the wee steering wheel rubbing against my thighs.  Sean almost barfed.

The Copilot and Alan Barfy Sean is Barfy

Five minutes later, we are 3000 Feet above Boston and I am one dude away from being at the helm.   It’s truly unbelievable, in this post 911 World that this scenario happens numerous times a day.  I could feel the steering wheel move, matching the Captain’s every turn.  I almost got my foot stuck under one of the operating pedals below.

Two things occur to me.  One, I could send this plane crashing to the earth if I felt like it.  If I had the slightest chaotic or suicidal instinct, I could sucker punch Captain John and take this plane wherever I wanted.  Thankfully for everyone involved, I have no such instincts so this course of events was not going to happen.  The second thing to occur to me was a little more disturbing.  What if Captain John has a brain hemorrhage?  A heart attack?A sneezing fit? A freaking nose bleed?  I will be left flying this plane.  Me.  Alan, many moving violations cant parallel park can’t drive a standard transmission should never have got a driver’s license, Doyle.  With the possible exception of the infant in the back, I must be the worst candidate for this job.

I figured it would be a white knuckler, but I could not have foreseen this turn of events.  Despite the fact that it was a lovely day with no turbulence and the flight afforded a grand view of Cape Cod and Nantucket, I still kissed the ground he moment we stepped from the plane.

We strolled, weak in the knees from the airport to the gig, which was only a few hundred meters, where we were met by an awaiting driver who was to bring us to a radio station for an acoustic performance.  We barely had time to tell the lads about our harrowing experience when before we found ourselves traveling across Martha’s Vineyard.  All seemed well till the driver made a sharp turn off the highway and started down a dirt road in the middle of nowhere.  In ten seconds we were completely out of sight of all civilization. 

It’s all staring to look very Soprano’s.  Jaysus, are we about to get whacked? 

Any way, we arrive at this converted house/ radio station in the middle of the woods and sing a few tunes and are back in the car in no time at all.  Shortly there after we got back on the bus next to the gig and announced that we were never getting off it again.

Rock On.

Cheers,
Alan

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Published Monday, August 25, 2008 11:52 AM by GBSAdmin
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Comments

 

Evangeline said:

Haha! Nothing like thinking you've been kidnapped with malicious intent (twice) to put a twist on traveling/touring. Spontaneous co-piloting...mysterious drives through the sticks to destinations unknown...the humor factor transforming to instant trepidation at 3000 feet. Sigh. Sounds like an Indiana Jones movie. Some guys have all the luck…
August 25, 2008 1:06 PM
 

Idealistic Pragmatist said:

This post is a thing of beauty!  I laughed out loud at least three different times.
August 25, 2008 2:42 PM
 

TinaMack said:

Not sure I have the adjective I need to respond to this one. Sometimes actions speak louder anyway: I intentionally slowed my reading to savor this entry.

Ditto to everything the first two posters said.  l laughed all the way through. And, I'll be back for a re-read and a second belly laugh, I know it.

Um, what are you guys feeding Tosh, by the way, red herring? I knew he was referring to you in his last tail. No shame in admitting it.

You really have become a great writer.
August 25, 2008 2:56 PM
 

AnneInPhilly said:

Oh Alan! That was definitely worth reading today. Things like that happen to my hubby and kids frequently. Call it serendipitous. You and Sean have collected experiences and memories enough on this trip to make a worthwhile story to your grandkids when you're old and gray. You have a chance to turn this into a comic story/song. How about it? A little bluegrass picking and off you go. It was delightful seeing you in Philly. Thank you.

Anne
August 25, 2008 2:58 PM
 

Helenwheels said:

I am glad no one got whacked before you all made it to Dewey!  
I just have to take this opportunity to say how much I enjoyed "In From the Outside".  What a lovely song...I can not stop it from playing repeatedly in my head.  Thanks for a great show!  
Cheers, Helen
August 25, 2008 2:58 PM
 

Helenwheels said:

p.s.
Great news about anotehr PBS show.  It was through PBS that I first stumbled upon GBS about 6 years ago, when the Great Big DVD was aired.  I trust this airing will further the exposure of your music and stage presence to an increasing American audience.
August 25, 2008 3:26 PM
 

William said:

Hey bright light, did you ever consider the possibility that Tosh was referring to himself in the last Tail? No shame in admitting it.

Al, it's hard to believe that with all your years of travel you've never been on a 404. Hey did you hear Ed rode his plane all the way down?
August 25, 2008 3:39 PM
 

CharlesGBS said:

Alan man you sure are lucky! Mind you i dnt think i'd fly aboard "Air Doyle" if you were the pilot....j/k. Anyways sounds like you and Mr. McCann had fun running around! lol
August 25, 2008 3:52 PM
 

TinaMack said:

Hey moth, sure, could be.
August 25, 2008 3:56 PM
 

DaisygGirl said:

Laughed out loud throughout this one and even read parts outloud to my son.  Keep the tales coming Alan....we love it!
August 25, 2008 4:06 PM
 

DaisygGirl said:

Have to add....120's would be a much better Olympic sport than Table Tennis and Trampoline.  No offense to Table Tennis players and Trampolinists everywhere but when that Ace of Hearts comes out of nowhere only to be captured by the Jack or Five...now thats drama!!!
August 25, 2008 4:09 PM
 

Susanne said:

Hey, we (Germany) have won the Silver Medal in the Men's Team Table Tennis - exciting match ;-)
August 25, 2008 6:14 PM
 

ChiTownKim said:

Quite an entertaining read - thanks!  But dude, you really need to lay off of watching 'The Sorpranos' for a while. Seriously.

;o)  Thanks for the laughs!
August 25, 2008 6:54 PM
 

PlaidLeaf said:

gotta love those little puddle-jumper planes... they are so freaking small!  glad to hear you didn't have any suicidal tendencies, or that sean didn't try to tackle you from behind, causing you to bash into the pilot and leave you to attempt flying, landing, and parallel parking the airplane :P

wonderfully written post, by the way, it had more "laugh out loud" moments than i've had in a long time! almost as many laughs as i had at the wolf trap show, but not quite ;)

see ya soon
-Britt
August 25, 2008 8:47 PM
 

DoyleLover said:

alan, great read for sure, it was truly funny to read, pics were great of u guys, don't worry I've never been on a 404 plane and I don't think you'll see me in one (maybe if its Air. Doyle) lol at CharlesGBS. but anywho glad your safe and having fun on the travels will be seeing you in Hamilton
stay safe and happy travels
lots of love
Paige
August 25, 2008 10:30 PM
 

Eva said:

I just had to call my husband (he's a truckdriver and in Alberta right now), and read this one to him. I usually do read them to him when he is home, but this one couldn't wait. That just made my crappy day.
Thank you Alan

Eva
August 25, 2008 10:41 PM
 

jimmi barnes said:

guess theres only one thing to say.  and as alan said and i quote "Broken angel take that plane..And finger paint the sky..Till everything shines" *LOL  guess you really did Alan!
August 25, 2008 10:57 PM
 

cyager said:

I don't usually respond to the entries but this one was just too funny.  I often compare my surroundings to movies I have seen or books I have read, like Harry Potter.  It is great to make that connection, no matter how crazy or silly.  Great writing!!  Thanks for including the photos too!  Like a previous entry stated, a memory which will stay with you always.  Safe travels.
August 25, 2008 11:21 PM
 

HookLineandSinker said:

Hopefully, GBS will be playing a gig at the 2010 games in Vancouver, so you can watch the moose hunting and 120's live.  ;)
August 26, 2008 1:17 AM
 

pmc543 said:

I had the opportunity to have an overnight mini-vacation on Martha's Vineyard last week and to see GBS live for the first time -- great show!

But the highlight was running into Bob and Alan in the above-mentioned Beetlebung Coffee Shop the next morning (I believe I exercised admirable restraint in not blurting out "Where's Sean?!"...).  Thanks, guys, for being so pleasant and gracious and for making my trip a true "Walk on the Moon" experience!
August 26, 2008 11:52 AM
 

nova said:

What a read and it ain't fiction!  I have a whole bunch of Airplane (the movie) quotes popping thru my head right now...

The extent you all go to, to promote your wonderful music!  
August 26, 2008 2:57 PM
 

Chiarascura said:

Oh my God. I haven't laughed this hard in a very, very long time.

First of all - have you ever been diagnosed for paranoid personality disorder? Not that it isn't perfectly natural to jump to the possibility of getting whacked when a nice lady picks you up in a car and drives you through a scenic route.

And I especially love the part where you freely confess to entertaining (however briefly) deeply psychopathic thoughts about hijacking the plane. Nice. Always knew you had it in you.

Thanks for this wonderful read :)
August 26, 2008 5:06 PM
 

Fran said:

Only you could possibly get yourself into these kinds of situations. You need to have a camera following you around and your own reality show.
August 26, 2008 10:51 PM
 

Branwyn32 said:

This is, quite possibly, one of the funniest blogs I have read in a long time! The pacing to self loathing in the airport bit made me laugh loud enough to wake up my rather nonplussed foster dog for his snoring glory...mostly because I have SO BEEN THERE. My fiance lives in England. My friends/career live in NYC. And I now live in Atlanta. Oh, how have I been there. I spent more time pacing and self loathing around the Edinburgh airport last year than I care to mention.

And good lord the Cessna! Bloody brilliant. Be glad you didn't have a copy of Gary Paulsen's survival novel "Hatchet" to hand to pass the time!

"When the pilot of a small, two-person plane has a heart attack and dies, Brian has to crash land in the forest of a Canadian wilderness." -amazon.ca

http://www.amazon.ca/Hatchet-Gary-Paulsen/dp/0689826990/ref=pd_bbs_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1219815036&sr=8-2

You should give it a read though, now that you've touched down again, LOL.
August 27, 2008 1:33 AM
 

Branwyn32 said:

oh, and by the way...

Olympic TRAMPOLINE?? They even have that??? What the hell do they do, give a gold medal to whoever can drink the most beers during a party and jump on the trampoline out back the longest without loosing their cookies?!
August 27, 2008 1:36 AM
 

Sportzchik said:

Oh my goodness....I just literally LOL'd at my desk reading this entry!!  I have never posted a reply to an entry before, but I had to do so for this one.  Alan, your descriptive narrating is like no other.  I absolutely loved it and it was a great way to start my day - thanks for the humour!!

See you in London in a couple of weeks.

Kim :)
August 27, 2008 8:42 AM
 

andi said:

"What if Captain John has a brain hemorrhage?  A heart attack?A sneezing fit? A freaking nose bleed?  I will be left flying this plane.  Me.  Alan, many moving violations cant parallel park can’t drive a standard transmission should never have got a driver’s license, Doyle.  With the possible exception of the infant in the back, I must be the worst candidate for this job."

Thanks for the giggle. I think I woke up the entire house laughing at this.
Mr Doyle, dear Mr Doyle...If in the event this ever actually happens you merely pick up the radio, and tell the nice air traffic controller  at the other end what happened...you'll be guided down by the best of the best. No worries. :) You can do it. and just think of the stories you could tell. LOL!  
August 28, 2008 1:02 AM
 

alan-rocks said:

Absolutely loved the From the Road Alan...and those pics of you with glasses on aren't too bad either. Anyone ever tell you look REALLY good with glasses on?

Thanks for the laugh today. You're good at making me laugh!
August 28, 2008 11:46 AM
 

Estelle said:

What a great big blog, Alan.

After hearing about Ed Robertson's plane accident, I'm glad you had a safe flight. What a week it was for you. Great time reading about it, though.

Cheers! :D
August 28, 2008 6:23 PM
 

Janice said:

I'm agreeing with just about everyone, love.  I laughed out loud several timed during the reading of this one.  So, thanks, it has been a rough week and I needed a little humor to get me through.
August 28, 2008 6:44 PM
 

Bonnie-the-Bodhranista said:

I hear you on the small planes.  I used to date a guy that flew a Cessna and he was always after me to get me to go up with him.  Oh, I'm sure he was perfectly safe and that his plane was in great shape, but...no bloody way.  I have a hard enough time in a Boeing, thank you very much.

I'm sure if I saw the inside as many airports as you and the other b'ys have I'd hate airports even more than I already do.

But it's nice to know that you guys survived it and seemed to have even enjoyed yourselves in the process!

As for not being able to drive stick?  Oh, you poor guy!  I enjoy driving a vehicle with a standard transmission...more control, in my opinion.  Learned to drive in an automatic, but had to teach myself in a hurry how to drive standard after borrowing a friend's car once to go out job hunting because I had to pick her up after she was done work.  I forgot her car was standard...ooops.  Grind it 'til you find it!  Well, not really but you get the idea.  Now I prefer to drive standard, but I can pretty much drive anything.  Get your hands on an old beater with a standard transmission and go teach yourself how to drive stick...it's honestly not that hard.  It just sounds horrible when you grind your gears.  It's all a matter of timing when to lift your foot off the gas, put your other on the clutch, and shifting up or down.

I'd offer you a lesson but I don't have a car at all right now!
August 29, 2008 8:23 AM
 

Mitsou said:

No seriously - i died laughing - best post ever
August 29, 2008 11:50 AM
 

Mallory said:

Alan, I think you have it in you to be a full-out pilot :)

If I'm seventeen and can hack getting my pilots license in seven weeks, you can do it too! And c'mon - admit it! It was a little fun :P (Though I can agree with you on the whole nerve wracking thing; the first time is scary as hell)
August 30, 2008 6:24 PM
 

FolkFester said:

Your blogs "From the Road" are always so amusing, and this was nothing short of hysterical.

The sound at the Philly Folk Fest was so amazing the the miscues didn't throw off the crowd (although the fans might have noticed a lil).    I hope you actually got a chance to party on the campgrounds as you had mentioned.   I was there, but didn't hear any of your tell-tale voices throughout the night.   I will say though, that you missed some amazingly WRONG happenings.....that were endlessly amusing.

Hope to be catching you in Raleigh, NC in Oct.    Make it a good one?----Oh, you always do!
August 31, 2008 3:04 AM
 

JennieWren said:

If Bruce Dickinson can fly Iron Maiden on their round the world tour, whats stopping Alan flying GBS on their round North America tour?  With all that pharting around missing overbooked flights and waiting on delayed flights, its about time you got yourselves your own pilot and plane and learnt the convenience of the avoiding the airlines.  You survived your first C404 experience - as they say, luckily for some size isn't everything ;)
September 1, 2008 8:51 AM
 

Recent Links Tagged With "nantucket" - JabberTags said:

September 29, 2008 5:49 PM
 

Recent Faves Tagged With "acoustic" : MyNetFaves said:

December 9, 2008 12:05 AM
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